I am just an average 22 years old girl from good ole' Tulsa, OKLAHOMA. I love to sing, paint, exercise, be outdoors (…when its not 8 degrees outside like it is now) and I absolutely ADORE my family.
Honestly, my family is probably the coolest thing about me. No joke. My parents divorced when I was 13 and both got re-married (to other people…) about a year or so later and the theme here is babies, babies and more babies. There are 9 of us to be exact and each one of them is cuter than the last (sad news for me since I am number 1!). And if that isn't too many, then we have added another addition to the family, Taylor. This is my "adopted" sister but truly a sister none-the-less!!
I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, had many Christian friends so I really had no excuse to be who I was after high school, but it is what it is. Despite the many ministry opportunities, countless chapels and twice a week church goings I participated in through out my schooling days, something snapped in me when I turned 18. I call these my "lost years". I spent my time focusing on no one and nothing but ME. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! I ventured out on my own after I dropped out of college my first semester (yes, i know! I got far =]) and really just spent time trying to find myself in the ways of the world. WITHOUT GOD. I found myself depressed, run down and so utterly confused about life.
God SERIOUSLY grabbed ahold of me the summer of 2010. I was living with my boyfriend at the time. I thought he was "the one" and that I was so in love. Through the haze, I couldn't see the kind of misery my life was bringing me (must have been the 24 hour pot-smoking I partook in for 2 years straight). The Holy Spirit started speaking to me every night before I would fall asleep. I felt like I was suffocating living my life the way I was but I struggled in being honest to myself. I couldn't face the reality that what I was doing wasn't working. One Sunday night (August 15th, 2010 to be exact), I made a decision to go with my family to a church service to hear John Hagee speak. He was talking specifically about being hot or cold. He was very bold about either standing up for Christ or getting the heck out of the church. It really hit home with me. Here I was, 21 years old, living with my boyfriend, smoking weed EVERY day AND calling myself a Christian. Really? Who had I become? I went down for prayer that night. I felt a boldness come over me that I hadn't felt maybe ever in my life. God was calling me and I was going to obey at any cost.
Within 2 weeks of making the decision to no longer be complacent in my walk with Christ, I drew boundaries with my boyfriend refusing to live in the same house, quit smoking marijane and joined a support group to help renew my thinking on life. It was a freedom I had never felt before! MAN, GOD IS GOOD! This change brought an end to my 3 year relationship and started a 1 year (now more like 2 years =}) commitment of no dating and focusing on anything and EVERYTHING that God was calling me to do.
I am not the same. I AM NOT THE SAME! It still gives me goose bumps to this day (no joke. i have them right now) to say (type) those words.
So I had spent a little less than 5 months gutting things out of my life that would bring me down when the new year came around. This brought up some thoughts. Like, what in the world am I going to do this year? I needed and wanted only what God had in store. I started researching Bible institutes and discipleship programs trying to find something I could do to not only grow but reach out and pour into others. I was looking into a program my best friend had done a few years back so I decided to call her and ask a few questions. This girl has been with me through my entire walk of life (since age 4) and has prayed for a long time that God open my eyes to see a better way of life in Christ. So, when I callled, she was so excited. Apparently she had been looking into the World Race for her and her husband and mentioned that while perusing through the website, she could not stop thinking about me and this opportunity that it would present for my life. Naturally, I had to check it out.
I researched and prayed for 1 week. I prayed specifically for God to speak one word to me. GO. I decided to go to a Sunday night prayer service at my awesome, amazing church. I wanted a concrete answer. The pastor was speaking on Gideon and was speaking on different aspects of this story to bring up words for us to focus on and pray over for 2011. He gave us 4 words. The last one he used was Pursue. He had us come to the front and kneel before God as he stood on the stage and spoke to us all (but it felt specifically to me =]), "The Lord is calling you to GO. GO. Just Go." THREE TIMES! Hows that for an answer? I just fell before God and cried my eyes out. Since then, God has done so much more to confirm this is what He has for me this year and I am ECSTATIC to have the opportunity to be His hands and His feet and to be used to touch others lives the way He has touched mine.
So thats my story, I spent the last 4 years chasing ME. This year is about Him. AND I AM STOKED to see all He has in store!
