A little over a week ago I packed my bags, said my goodbyes, and headed off to Atlanta, GA for launch where I spent 4 days with my beautiful squadmates, squad leaders, coaches and mentors just digging deeper into the Lord’s heart and learning more about how to prepare ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually for the year ahead of us.
Our first week we did ministry in Mayaguez on the west coast, and for the next two weeks my team will be in Arecibo on the northern coast 🙂
And what I found out was that I don’t think I will ever feel completely prepared or ready for the journey that the Lord is about to take me on.
I can spend hours researching the best gear and making the perfect packing list…
Spend every day for a month before I leave just having quality time with wonderful friends who I’m leaving behind…
Search the internet for hours reading other racers’ insightful blog posts…
Do my best to “let go” of what has been my life for the past 23 years…
Give my mother a thousand hugs and tell her a million “I love yous”…
But the truth is that no matter how much I try to prepare myself, I will always look back in retrospect and see the blind spots where I could have done things differently or used my time or resources more effectively. This past week has been rough. As I look back on the past 3 months of my “preparation” for the World Race, I see more blind spots than I can count. I feel overwhelmed by all of the “should haves”, “could haves” and “what ifs”. There have been so many emotions going on in my heart and so many thoughts running through my head. But through it all, the Lord has taught me so much about myself… yes, about my weaknesses and where I fall short, but also about His strengths and His faithfulness to me.
I’ve learned that when I can’t see His hand, I have to trust His heart.
That His plans are always better than mine.
That His Word is TRUTH.
That He sees me. He loves me. He accepts me. He delights in me. He is fighting for me.
That He has GOOD things in store for me, for my team, and for my entire squad.
He is working in us… stretching us, shaping us, changing us, and making us more like His son. And one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over this past week is that this trip… this journey we are on… it is ultimately about HIS kingdom, and HIS plans. Not ours. And if, as a squad, we really want to make a difference, we have to be UNIFIED, working together as ONE body.
Pastor Ruben, who has been kind enough to house us and take care of us over this past week, gave us a beautiful vision to keep in mind for our squad this year:
We are olives. And right now, we are in an olive press… under pressure so that we might mesh together and be unified as one, and so that the oil can be distilled and poured out on those we will be serving. As individual olives, we are weak and unable to produce the amount of “oil” required for our ministry. Even as a group of 45 olives, we are still missing something. It is only when the oil press… the Holy Spirit… enters into our lives that we are put under the proper amount of pressure, trials and testing and are unified and distilled into a beautiful and powerful fragrance, the pleasing aroma of Christ.
Some of my beautiful new sisters… Joane, Jaz, Lizzy, and Lo!
Have you felt the pressure of the Holy Spirit in your life lately? Embrace it and know that He is transforming your heart and wants to use this time in the oil press to bless you and those around you!
