I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all SINS are created equal. Although Jesus said it, I apparently have failed to believe it. Somehow, I have convinced myself that sins fall into different categories of despicability. Sins that only affect me are ranked the lowest and are the “least sinful.” Sins that affect others fall into two categories: mildly offensive (lying, illegal downloading) and detestable (Rape, Murder).
In general, I look at other people’s sins as being mildly offensive. For instance, when my neighbor is selfish and puts his own preferences ahead of those around him, or when he is deceitful, I internally judge him as being more sinful than me (at least at that moment). While my neighbor commits his sins, I am actively engaging in sins of my own: pride, arrogance, judging others. Yet despite my own sinning, its easy for me to disregard my faults as being less blameworthy than the more outwardly obvious sins of the other person. Such an attitude has made me a very judgmental person that really underestimates my own sinfulness. Just cause others have a harder time seeing my internal thoughts doesn’t mean I’m not sinning.
So, easy fix right? I already knew that Jesus told us not to “judge others lest we be judged.” And I already know that I am sinful and am only saved by His grace (“all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”) So why do I continue to look down on others and think that somehow I am any better in God’s eyes. I am so inherently sinful that I can’t even help but find things to take pride in. Like the parable in which the master forgives the outrageous debts of his servant, only for the servant to be unforgiving with the minor debts others owe him, I continuously fail to demonstrate the grace that I have been given.
Today, here in an airport layover in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia, its already Easter. Its the ultimate memorial to undeserved grace–a flawless man suffering and dying for the benefit of His enemies. Although I know I can never rid myself of my pride and my need to feel superior to others, I will continuously pray that God will soften my heart. I hope that as the year progresses, I will learn to love people regardless of anything they do. Whether they seem to deserve it or not, I strive to be gracious and loving. Keep me in your prayers please.
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As an administrative note, our whole squad underwent team changes. I am now on an entirely new team of 6 new people. I will talk more about them in a later blog as I have a chance to hear their testimonies. As a result of the team change, M:10 had been disbanded and my new team name is Team Ridiculous.
I will be debriefed tonight on Cambodia culture and should have a better idea about my ministry after a few days. Have a wonderful Easter everyone!
