We were asked to write an essay called “This I Believe” about what really matters to us, as preparation for this world missions adventure called the World Race. This is what I believe…

 

This I believe; I need to get out of the way

 

It was my senior year of high school, my junior year of being a Christian. 

I was alive with the touch and call of God. 

The world was hurting and I had the answer. 

People needed God.  People needed Jesus. 

The possession of such pertinent information, defined who I was.

A seemingly clear objective had been set out before me.

 

“Go , and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,”

Matthew 28:19

 

I had the goods.  I had what people needed.  It was my duty, my job, and my call.

My high school was my mission field.  My relationships were my mission.  My friends needed to be saved.

 

The first object of my conversion attempts was a girl. 

(I will not include her real name as I believe she may read this

and for the sake of discretion would not want to put her out there like that.)

 

We will call her “Grace.”

 

Grace was my friend. 

Grace did not believe in God. 

Grace once stated with seeking intellectualism,

“I believe I’m an atheist.”

Oh I was determined.  I would show her the way.  I would turn her belief system upside down…

 

“I believe I’m an atheist.”

 

“You are wrong.  I have found God.  I know him.  I have seen his love and proof of his existence. I believe the bible says…”

 

I went on for about an hour.  I was filled with passion. 

I told her she was wrong for about an hour.

I quoted scripture.  I gave testimonies.  I attacked her point of view. 

I went on for about an hour.

I was “Matthew 28:19” on crack.

 

I left the conversation feeling accomplished.  I left the conversation with a medal on my chest.

“Disciple Maker of all nations”

 

Little did I know, Grace was gone.

 

…I remember the following weeks as a blur.

She still talked to me but one day she confessed…

 

“Do you remember the conversation we had about God?”

 

“Yes.” (My Spiritual Ego replied)

 

“Well, I’ve been thinking about what you said… and I’ve been watching you lately…and I think I was right.  There is no God.  Just the Idea of God and the only thing that seems to be remotely tangible are the followers who believe in him.  The only manifestation I can see of a God are those who believe in him… and ultimately it’s still just YOUR belief that I can see… and in the end I don’t agree with YOUR belief.”

 

This is the point of the story that I would love to be able to say I responded with wisdom and anointing.

This is the point of the story that I would love to be able to say I turned it all around and led her to the lord.

 

That didn’t happen.

I had done all that I could.

I had done MY best to save her.

I gave it MY all…

But it was all too clear… Grace was gone.

 

Defeated, I decided to let her go.  I had failed.

I decided to give up with trying to convince her of salvation.

 

Over the next few months we remained friends.  On occasion we would go out for dinner.

We made plans to have dinner on a Saturday night. 

I normally went to my church’s Saturday night service.

I suggested she meet me at Apple Bees after I was done with service. She replied…

 

“I’ll just go with you to your church and then we can go eat after.”

 

Now, anytime a friend of mine who is not a Christian agrees to visit church,

I get pumped up and completely focused.

Not this time.  By now Grace was off my radar.  I didn’t give it thought.

 

“Ok.  I’ll pick you up at 4:45.”

 

 

There we were about twenty minutes into service

when I noticed something happening in the seat next to me.

Grace was crying. 

I looked down at her hands.

Grace was shaking.

 

I looked up to the stage.  Nothing eventful was happening there.

Did I miss something?

 

I leaned over, “Is everything alright?”

 

I will never forget the look I received.

Grace didn’t say anything but her eyes…

Her eyes showed me something I will take with me the rest of my life…

I could see what was happening on the inside…

God was there…

God was introducing himself to her for the first time…

God was showing Grace.

God had Grace.

God was with Grace. 

And all of a sudden in the reflection of her eyes I saw myself… 

I saw the look on MY face…

The look of amazement, joy and confusion…

 

Grace now believed.

And I had NOTHING to do with it.

 

At that moment I felt small. 

In my defeat, God had victory.

In my failure, God had Success.

In my retreat, God had advanced.

 

The biggest part I had to play was to simply get out of the way.

 

(18) Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. (19) Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, (20) and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

 

I never understood what Jesus was saying…

I thought I did.

But I had it wrong…

 The crucial part of that verse happens in the first sentence Jesus speaks…

 

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”

 

Jesus has that authority.  I do not.  What Jesus is giving is not a command…

It’s an invitation.

Jesus is going to save the world. 

HE is going to disciple the nations.

HE is going to baptize them.

HE is going to teach them to obey his commands.

And he loves me enough to invite me along. 

He wants me to HELP him disciple.

He wants me to HELP him baptize.

He wants me to HELP him teach.

And then, when the moment is his… 

This I believe; I need to get out of the way…

God taught me that, through Grace.