“The heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
So beautiful and loud
Fury filled and we collide
So courageous until now
Fumbling and scared
So afraid You’ll find me out
Alone here with my doubt
Here it comes, a beautiful collision…”
-Beautiful Collision, David Crowder Band
Picture this; a heart connected to pride and a voice connected to that pride.
A rather “courageous” event of speech mixed with verbs and adjectives walking in flesh.
Bold and full, the heart beats in conjunction with… well, nothing.
These words are empty. Loud, yes, but still empty.
Intelligence is a tricky mess. I find life in words, books, ideas, and my opinions.
Bold and full, my heart is a prideful disaster.
Move forward to the birth of September 2007.
Surrounded by trees and orange Georgia clay.
Three or four days into training camp for The World Race
I was minding my own purpose.
I didn’t hear it coming
but I can testify, “the heart breaking DOES make a sound.”
It consumes you.
A sound so great it stuns your thoughts.
It cleared mine.
“Pick up your pride stick!”
God was speaking
I was on my knees with my face in the ground.
“Pick up your pride stick and break it!”
God was speaking
I was “fumbling and scared” …
“Lord, without this stick what will I become?”
… then silence.
.
.
.
.
.
not a word.
.
.
.
.
.
…Nothing.
.
.
.
.
.
.
…Then I began to understand.
What replaces pride? Nothing.
Nothing replaces pride.
“Lord with out my “pride” what will I become? ”
The answer is; nothing.
“You will become nothing… And then I will become more.”
I picked up my stick and walked for what seemed to be miles.
As I climbed my hill and reached the top something happened.
I wept and laughed and danced and let go.
I was crushed full speed in the most beautiful collision.
I met God racing a million miles an hour and he didn’t move.
I did.
I went flying.
Broken, bruised, bloodied, battered and beautiful.
I became all that I was ever meant to become…
Nothing.
and it’s beautiful…
