Tonight I gave my life to Christ and accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior (for the 100th time). This time it was different, I found myself feeling something I have never felt before and amidst that feeling I was at a stop light screaming at the top of my lungs “In the name of Jesus!”. Now that might just make me seem crazy for cocoa puffs, so let me rewind…
Since I have committed to The World Race my stress has gone crazy (slowly but surely), and I didn’t even notice until recently how truly anxious I was. First off I have gained a lovely 10 pounds because well, food is good and it’s even better when you’re stressed (aka stress eating… yay). And that’s not it folks, I have had panic attacks and they continually worsen. In order to get through these things and to once again have peace in my life, time and time again I hand my life over to God, but this time I meant it. My faith was so alive in that moment and there was NOTHING stopping me that night from gaining freedom! Not negativity, not stress, and definitely not Satan! He had attacked me and I had taken that beating each and every time, for long enough. And here is my story on the day all that changed..
I was leaving work thinking about how much I wanted to just go home, eat a warm meal and fall asleep, but I had youth group. I knew I was tired but I also knew how much I loved youth group. So (Kroger uniform and all) I headed to youth group. At youth group we went through the lesson and everything else just as normal, not to mention we had some fantastic spaghetti that night, and of course uplifting fellowship throughout the evening! I am sitting on the couch after the lesson and my youth group leader comes and sits by me so I can tie her Threads Of Hope bracelets, and of course I think nothing of it. The next thing I know she is handing me a check, and I find myself in shock, holding back the tears all I can say is a mere “Thank You”, I felt so undeserving that day and in that moment God showed He had much better plans for my life than I ever did. That moment was the reassurance I needed, and the one I didn’t deserve nor ask for, but God gave it to me anyway!
As I get into my car I realized about halfway home that I hadn’t thanked God for my group leaders donation. So as I begin to pray I first off thank God for my group leader and her obedience in listening to God, and also I just thank Him for the fundraising. I find myself in tears as I reflect on the anxiety I feel and how I feel when Satan attacks me and I feel angry and ask God why He would let these things happen when I am serving His will for my life. As I’m sitting at that red light looking up into the sky screaming and crying out to God, asking him to take my pain away I realized the power in the name of JESUS. I felt the presence of unholy things and I felt the anxiety and pressure building up and I scream “In the name of JESUS!”. After that I took a deep breath and felt such a sense of relief. And then I realize that these struggles are making me stronger and they are preparing me for my future. Most importantly it is forcing me to put everything I have in God, my faith, my anxiety, and lay it all down at the feet of Jesus. He wants to take that pain from me, I just had to let Him.
Then as I continue to pray, something swings out of the sky and hits me like a 30 lb bag of potatoes (metaphorically speaking, of course
). And I realize that I do not have my “date and time”, the moment when I gave my life to Christ.. So what do I do? I pray for salvation, but in a way that I have never prayed it before. This time I pray with passion, love, vulnerability, and a heart for God! In that moment I felt more secure and at peace than I had felt in a long time. I will forever remember my date and time..
On Sunday, April 24th 2016 at 9:16pm I was saved by the grace of God.
