At the time when I vowed to do this I was a different person, on a different spiritual journey, in a different country! I can remember the phone call now looking back. It was April 7th 2014, I was standing outside my office in Illinois on the phone with a representative from AIM who had just told me that I was accepted onto the race! Then it was followed by some requirements. One of them being: I will not pursue a relationship from now until my Race ends. In that moment I thought “Well I’ve been single for awhile now so what’s 16 months”, so I said Yes! In that moment, I didn’t realize that month 5 in Cambodia I was going to meet my one true love.
I’ve only loved one guy passionately. I love my dad, brother, grandfathers, uncles, guy friends and cousins of course. But that heart racing can’t catch your breath when they are near kind of love, I’ve only felt once in my 27 years and it was awhile ago. To be honest I forgot how great of a feeling it is and how much I missed it. We are also so open with each other. I can tell him anything and everything and he doesn’t run away from me. I know it sounds childish to say “he’s the one” but it’s that can’t eat can’t sleep over the fence world series kind of love that you don’t let go of. That’s why I’m willing to break my contract and hey I may even be sent home because of this and that’s fine, I will do anything I have to for him. I mean he did die on the cross for me. ME!! I can’t believe our heavenly father loves me that much! Is anybody else blow away by the amount of love that came from that act? If you’re not, I need you to stop moving, close your eyes and fully let that sick in. That God sent his ONLY son to the cross for us. For our sins. For us to have a second chance. For us to be able to love him. If it still didn’t sink in the amount of love there, listen to Out of Hiding By Steffany Gretzinger. The lovely Laura Ficken showed me this song and it never fails that every time I hear it I am just overwhelmed.
God and I have always had a relationship. There were times when it was stronger and times when it was almost non-existence. I have never had a passionate relationship with Him though. Until now. And I can’t get enough of Him.
xo
Bre
