“And as Jesus reclined at the table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples.”
Matthew 9:10
Im not sure if any of you are aware of this but the World Race is coming to an end for me. In 17 short days for me, I will be at Debrief in Cape Town, and in 24 days, I will be in New York city exploring it up before I come home the night of November 30th. As this is happening, Racers that launched out with me in January will type up blogs detailing exactly what they are planning on doing after the Race finally does come to an end. Now I will admit that I tried to do this twice last night but both times I was met with disgust for what I was writing. I know that I will be moving to Oregon and pursuing schooling to become a pastor shortly after coming back home, but writing that down? Oh my gosh! Nothing but disgust for my words and I was scared that maybe God had changed up some plans at the last minute. After really thinking on what I was writing, I realize that my words were displaying truth indeed! At the heart of these words though, because yes words have hearts, there was no meat! There was no drive, purpose, or soul! They were just simply a collection of superfluous letters jumbled together that had no purpose! Their only attempt to be useful was a pathetic attempt to answer a question so stupid that I truly questioned even the point of what I was saying! What am I going to do after the Race? is a question that has bogged my mind for quite some time. I now revile the question!
Im sorry for my passion and disgust of this question but I find nothing more useless in life, trying to figure out what I am to do with my life. I can barely figure out what I want to do with today let alone try to understand what I am going to do several months down the line or with the rest of my life. Now I don’t want to make other Racer’s feel like they should be criticized, or that they are being attacked, for knowing what they are to do long term. I pray for nothing but blessings as you pursue it! However, for myself, I am in peace in not knowing much.
I wrote in my journal today that,
“I want to be part of a church that is willing to get dirty with their hands. I want to be a part of a church that’s job is to lift others up and show them that they are indeed precious to ourselves as well as God. I want to use my life for others. I want to be the Church. I want to show love and share love. I want to, in everything I do with my life, show love and share love. What I do in life almost doesn’t even matter really. I want to be selflesss to my core.”
Our lives are not about what we do IN life but rather what we do WITH our lives.
I want to be simple and plain with you. I know God is calling me to ministry and to serve in the Church to share the gospel for others to be saved from their sins. I want to see my brother’s and sister’s be in relationship with Father God and, while I am doing this, I want people to know that I love them dearly but that God loves them far more than me. I believe that there truly is no other choice for me apart from ministry. I want to love.
So when I get back, if the Lord is wiling, I will move to Oregon, attend Bible school, and spend the next several years learning how to properly share God’s love that He has for the people I meet in my life. Boom. That’s “the plan”. After that is a crap shot to guess what will happen. I might become a missionary, I might work in the local church, and heck, I might be one of those screamin’ Jesus type people you see walkin the street. Who knows! I know that my only mission after the Race is to share the love God has for me with others, so that they can experience an amazing relationship with Papa for themselves. This is my purpose. So if you want to pray for me in any way, pray that I choose to love daily for the glory of God and that I am not bogged down by the world. Pray that I emulate Christ daily and that in EVERYTHING I DO I share from my heart and not out of what I know. Thank you so much for your love and support in where Papa is calling me. I thank you all from the heart and I want you all to know I am excited to come back home in less than a month’s time. See you all soon!
