Spiritual Buttons
You know the whole Benjamin Buttons thing where as the guy gets older he turns back into a baby?
Well that’s something that started to happen to me spiritually, and it can happen to anyone I think.
through the course of this 11 month journey you live in really really Really close community, so not only do you get to know both the good and bad habits of people you see how God use’s each differently and how he speaks to them, and how far his Grace really go’s,
when in Cambodia I did a lot of processing and pray’n and think’n back to how things where before the race as well as month one and so on, try’n to figure out when and where i started to be lost, as I could hear God more before the race then I have on the race, and I now know for the most part where I went wrong and started to doubt the Holy sprit and start to believe the lie that God don’t talk to me at all, when all along I should of just stood firm in who Christ has made me, and wired me.
part of it had to do with looking at how others appear to hear Gods voice clearly on every small detail of there lives and always seem to have something from God for everything, so In one aspect I started to compare myself to others in how they hear form God and began to say more and more that God don’t talk to me,
On another aspect I had always got’n the same feedback bout not ever having anything to say at times when we are expected to have something from God to share, and I would get the same talk bout how you don’t always have to have some big powerful word from God for everything, and I’m like I understand that, I’m not look’n for a big powerful word or something, but If I got nothing at all, I got nothing, even in all the knowledge and wisdom God has put in me if i don’t have a starting point or foundation to build on I’m not go’n to make stuff up just to sound good. ( I’ve been that way since I was lil) so part of being frustrated getting the same feed back almost the whole race caused me to say more and more that God don’t talk to me, and I was getting what I was saying, He was starting to speak to me less and less cause I was doubting He even would before I ever asked, cause that was the lie that had grown up, along with some psychological warfare that went on with my first team that was still affecting me I started to be lost and was becoming like a baby in the faith again,
One thing that made me realize I was headed down hill fast was Hebrews 5:11-6:12
But now the only thing that’s important at this point is the verse that’s been my life’s verse, witch is Luke 10:41. witch basically says to focus on the only thing that’s important witch is spending time with Jesus, and also through pray’n and processing all this God led me to a passage in 1 Corinthians umm…. well chapters 2 and 3 and part of 4 haha, the part that hit home the most thou is at the end of chapter 3, where it says “all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God” basically what God is say’n to me is that I have no excuses, I was brought up in the Lords teachings, trained and mentored as well as have served in just bout every aspect of ministry there is, so I have all the knowledge and experience. all is mine and the only thing in the way of me be’n closer to God and hearing Him is the choice i make everyday to spend time with Him, some how through the corse of the race I went from be’n mature in faith to be’n like a baby again,
Spiritual Buttons.
Now since God has got’n me out of the buttons thing before it was to late, my quite times/spending time with God and in the Word have bean a lot better and the Word fills alive again when I read it, like when your eat’n a good meal it’s just like nom nom nom all the way deep down inside me, 🙂
spending quality time with God takes a lot of self discipline sometimes,
(It doesn’t matter if your a new or mature Christian, pastor, or missionary, or worship leader, or guru, or what ever God has you do’n, having the discipline to stay focused on God will always be a challenge, it’s not something that magically comes with the titles,)
And still wars come and go on the mind,
