generally while i was on the world race i didn’t think of myself as filthy rich and spoiled. blessed? absolutely! having the time of my life and experiencing God in crazy new ways. yes. but not necessarily spoiled. that was until i got off the world race. it has now been almost three months, and i find myself feeling quite poor at times. i have a job now, and a couple of dollars in the bank, but that really has nothing to do with “wealth.” i was thoroughly confused while out of the states as to why so many past racers were still hanging around the world race, living in little communities in Colorado and Michigan. i kept asking myself why there weren’t moving on to the “real world.” now i am starting to understand.
the hardest thing about not being on the world race anymore is not having the community that i had. i was so spoiled, filthy rich with community and i didn’t even know it. i got back to kansas not expecting to find community there, so i didn’t look for it, and of course i didn’t find it. but i was so excited to get back to san diego, where i thought i had community before. i figured i would click in here, and i would fall into community here, and it would be just like the world race, only in san diego. well that hasn’t exactly happened.
i find myself missing that community more and more each day. i realize i am doing a little more wallowing in self pity each day, reminiscing about the “way things were.” but as i read books on community, and think back, i also remeber that community didn’t happen overnight on the world race. it took months to really become “family,” and we were living together 24/7, so why do i think it could happen in a month here? and to be honest how hard have i really tried to press into community here?
so i am sitting in the living room on thanksgiving. dreaming of what community could look like here in america. and i am not sure exactly what that is. but i believe the Lord is faithful. community is a gift from Him. so i will continue to “press in” to community in san diego. and i know that the Lord will provide community here, that i will find people that truly know the power of the Holy Spirit, that prophesy big things, that call out the “stuff,” that want to see this world changed in huge ways for the Kingdom!
love. obedience.
