I am half way through month 9 on this crazy journey and I wanted to kind of go back and reflect with you. There is absolutely too much to put in twenty blogs, let alone this one, so I will try and hit some key points that stick out to me. Looking back is sort of surreal. I don’t feel like the same person and I know that I am not. I was clueless to the amount of change I would experience through joy and struggles alike. I can still remember arriving in Antigua, Guatemala like it was yesterday. In a sense it feels like it was yesterday and in another it feels like years ago.
My “launch” was unique in that it happened from the stage of Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, Georgia where I was interviewed in front of 6 to 8 thousand people in the morning. Then interviewed by a film crew in the afternoon and then yet again, I had a follow up interview in the evening in front of possibly more than the first time. I realize now that this created a lot of stress that I didn’t know how to properly handle at the time. Looking back, I can see the intensity of my launch starting me off on a spin cycle that I couldn’t stop in my own strength and at the same time, I didn’t know how or who to ask for help. Actually I think I was somewhat oblivious to my situation, even though walking through it.
Months before at training camp, I had been asked to be a team leader. I had accepted the position without truly knowing how hard it would be. I think that I might have actually thought it would be a breeze. We started our tour in Chimaltenango, Guatemala at a special needs orphanage for handicap children called Los Gozosos. I have to be completely honest with you here. I was terrified. To that point, my experience around handicap children had ranged from little to none. It made me uncomfortable to think about and I was staged to live with these children for a month. They stole my heart! All of these children were held by limits that they could not find the strength or means to breakthrough and yet they loved unconditionally. I was blown away! Mostly abandoned, these beautiful children craved love and would give it so freely!
The women that worked at this orphanage lived out an incredible portrayal of servant hood. They labored day and night with little recognition and sometimes having to wait for pay due to support for the orphanage coming in late. They found joy where I could not and loved those whom their culture had deemed, “unlovable”. I learned so much from my time there and left with tears in my eyes. My heart had been forever changed and it was only just beginning.
In Honduras, we lived in close community with our entire squad on a property titled “Zion’s Gate”. This most excellent of places was in its groundbreaking stages and was run by Tony Deien and his wife. God is moving in this place and although we weren’t the first World Racers to come, we were the first squad. Since, there have been more and it has been exciting to see the growth in this ministry. Tony has a passion for street kids and has a bunch of them living with him. He has risked life and limb to chisel into one of the poorest communities in the world and bring Jesus. Witnessing the way that this man gave 110% of his heart to the children that he had brought off the street was moving to say the least. He had been burned and that sad truth still couldn’t stop him from loving with all he had.
We capped off our Latin American tour in Jinotepe,Nicaragua where we worked with Mateo 5:16 ministries. Run by Lynn and Glenn Schweitzer, this was where our team truly became family. We were given an incredible environment to bridge the gap of differences that had plagued our team from day one. Our host momma Bonnie was such a servant and battled for us behind the scenes as a true prayer warrior. She might have also cooked us a good amount of western food which was, to be honest, extremely comforting. We lived on the same property as a new church and our job was to spread the word that it was there. We went into the barrios (slums) and did door to door evangelism. Once again we found ourselves at the groundbreaking stage of another ministry helping in what little way we could to build a foundation. I found myself being changed more than I was changing others.
I have come to realize that as much as I thought the World Race was going to be about me helping others, that’s not really it. Don’t get me wrong, you do get to help and lives are changed. But the true function of the World Race is identity. I have been willingly thrown into a mixing bowl of brokenness so that He can break off what is not me and show me who He created me to be as well as who He truly is. Now in saying that, it could be taken as me thinking that I having it figured out in the middle of month nine. That is absolutely false and I have finally realized that I will never have it all figured out. In fact I don’t even want to anymore. Where is the fun in that. I want to be dependant on my Daddy forever. The World Race is the journey that ignites the journey of brokenness which leads to identity and truth.
I thought I would try to write a huge blog with an update on all 9 countries. That isn’t going to work. To be continued in Asia…
