My Sweet Sweet Jesus,
I miss you when You are right next to me. Some might take this as me being unsatisfied with You, but I say that the sheer magnitude of how You so comletely satisfy my soul makes me hunger for more of You. When Your Spirit manifests in my life, I get hungry! He has been around a lot this month. You are being super sweet on me and I rejoice in Your love. Yesterday I woke up and danced with You. I want to dance with You more Jesus. I want the freedom You keep speaking over me. Why, do I care so much about what others will think of me? The more that I am with You, the more my mind recognizes how You never leave. I am coming into agreement with this absolute and in so doing, feel Your Presence more than ever! You never left the Presence of Your Daddy and I don’t want to either. I know it is possible and I want it. I want to always see the fiery flame at the center of Your gaze.
It has been a hard month and yet it has been one of the best of my life. It’s funny how it works. There is so much to learn from You and sometimes I want it now. I have to remind myself that You know what I need and when I need it. I feel different, Lord. I feel like in a month labeled Unity by most, you are drawing me away. Where are we going? I must trust in You or perish. I love how You are showing me the dance of life. How sometimes, though it might feel and look like I am taking a step backward, in actuality we are dancing. Our dance might seem random and scattered to most, but You are starting to show me the beautiful design to it all. How You have thought out every single movement. How at first, I would step on Your feet and go the wrong way. But as I start to embrace Your lead and trust in You, it begins to make sense and flow more naturally than I could have imagined.
As I continue to ask for more of You and less of me, I find myself lacking old desires and wants. As I spend more and more time with you, I find that there is not enough time in the day. My days begin to overlap and I have begun to even forget what day it even is. I have to sit and look at the schedule for a moment and remember what I did yesterday to identify the name of today. Only in the Kingdom, can I feel more alone than ever and yet, feel You with me more than ever. Or feel completely misunderstood and fall asleep with a smile on my face because there is one that does understand. Thank You so much for her, Jesus! I am forever blessed, forever grateful!
Jesus, I love you more than life itself! I want to give myself over to Your River. I want to dance with You in green pastures, even when You say rest. I love You more than life itself! I love to sit in Your stillness! Your goodness tastes so sweet and I crave it! You fulfill! You are faithful and I love doing everything with You! I give You my life! More than ever before, I feel the willingness in my soul to make room for you at the expense of what I use to think I wanted. I love You more than life itself!
