Last night I had a conversation with my mother that kind of rocked my world. But, before I talk about that it is important to understand why this talk was so good for me. The word purpose has been thrown around a lot in my head and I have this understanding that The World Race will be a great year for God to reveal His purpose for my life. I have always struggled to understand my purpose in the world. I can't help it. I look at myself and think, "I am a goofy, slightly socially awkward, not so average, doesn't really seem to fit in anywhere kind of guy. What could God possibly want with me?" I have always wondered why I have felt so different from everyone in my life. Enter my mother…
"Brandon," she said. "I'm going to tell you something that may sound kinda bad, but just take it for what you will. Well, maybe not bad but, whatever just take it however you want."
What a way to start a conversation huh?
"From the very first day you were born, I have always known or felt like you were borrowed. Like I was your mother but God was lending you to me."
Interesting…
At this point my mind went straight to Samuel and my mother said, "Kind of like Hannah from the Bible." Now the moment she said "Hannah" I said "Samuel" and as you may know, Hannah was Samuel's mother. We knew that we were tracking with each other. She said, "You have known God from the very beginning. Even when you would come home from preschool with the drawing of the family portrait, you had written over the little stick figures 'mom, me, Chris, and God.' I just knew that you knew God and were meant for something different. Like you were…" At this point the word came to mind and I said, "Anointed?" And right there it clicked. My mother said, "Yes, exactly!" and I took another step in my discovery of purpose.
See, at training camp, on the second day I think, they talked about how we were all anointed for this task of going into the world to free people in the name of Jesus. I knew it was important but it took this conversation, or I would argue revelation, from God through my mother to open this new understanding of who I am. I have never fit into the mold of this earth because I was never meant to. I was divinely appointed from the very beginning as God's son and servant. I fit so perfectly in His kingdom that I don't seem to fit here on earth. All the more reason that God has called me to this World Race. I am becoming THE man. The man that I was always destined to become. The outcast of the world who has been sent with heaven on his mind. Jesus is making me that man.
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth." –Acts 1:8
I was made to be that man. Sent here on behalf of Christ to be his witness. I am so excited to find fruit come from this new understanding! Please pray for me that, I will never forget that that is who I am and who I was meant to be. Pray that I can dream bigger than I ever have and that God will pour out His Spirit on me to be a humble and faithful witness for His kingdom because that is where we all belong.
The Man With Unclean Lips,
Brandon Barnum
