Tonight,
as I sat with my friends Lauren and Anen waiting for dinner to be ready
the
news came…
Our contacts niece, Lila had passed
away.
Our
entire month in Cambodia we had never met Lila because she had been in the
hospital in Phnom Penh.
She
was just on her way from Phnom Penh to our home in the village, about a two
hour drive.
The doctors had just dismissed her from
the hospital saying that there was nothing more they could do.
We
soon gathered our stuff to head over to the church for an immediate funeral.
The
funeral in which our three teams, Spirit Reign, Spirit Roar, and Beloved
Daughters were going to lead.
The immediate
family had not arrived back before Lila had passed away.
Our
teams ended up eating dinner and then proceeding to the funeral service.
As I
sat eating dinner I heard a car come close to our home and my heart began to
race.
Then
I saw Lila’s grandpa and uncle start to run towards the vehicle with Lila’s 2
year old sister.
Tears instantly started to fall from my
face.
The
hurt and the pain that the family was feeling came over me.
A
family that has become more and more like my family while being here in
Cambodia.
Hurt
and pain for the unanswered prayers prayed by the family of such great faith.
Hurt
and pain for the loss of a baby.
Hurt
and pain for the family.
Hurt
and pain because a precious life had just been taken away.
In the sorrow, in the grieving, in the
brokenness, God is there.
He
is there.
He
has never left us.
He
will never forsake us.
How
could we ever forget these promises?
During
the funeral service, Spirit Roar’s team leader Stephanie shared one of my
favorite passages of scripture, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything, and a
season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to
gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace.
The
entire funeral service hit me hard.
Just as easy as it is for us to enter
this world, we can be taken away.
I
know Lila’s family treasured every moment they had with her here on earth, even
if it did consist of being next to her in a hospital bed.
As
we all went into the night to the rice field to bury Lila, a wind came over the
land.
Then
a rush of the Spirit came and it rained (which has been the third time it has
rained this month in Cambodia because they are in the dry season).
Everything is spiritual.
That
gust of wind was spiritual.
That
rain was spiritual.
Everything is spiritual.
Nobody
wants to deal with death.
Nobody
wants to see a two month old baby die.
Nobody
wants to see their friends suffer.
Nobody
wants to see their family be in pain.
Nobody
wants to grieve.
Grieving
sucks.
Being
vulnerable after a death sucks.
Opening
up to people about how you feel sucks.
Being
broken sucks.
Watching
a family be in pain sucks.
Burying
a baby sucks.
Grieving
sucks.
There’s nothing about grieving that I
think, oh yeah I’d love to do that.
There’s
nothing about death that anyone wants to go through.
There’s
nothing about it that is easy.
Grieving
is a process.
Grieving
is painful.
He never said it would be easy, but He
did promise that He would never leave us through it all.
He
promises to catch every single tear that we cry.
He
promises us that He will be by our side every step of the way.
He
promises that all things will work out for the good of those who love Him.
Why
is it so hard?
Why
is it so hard to trust in His promises in these hard times?
Why
is it so hard to believe that He is truly there when we are at our lowest
points?
Why
is it so hard to trust that His plan is actually good even though we think our
plan is better?
We
have to trust and believe in Him
We
have to put our hope in Him.
We
have to truly believe that He is with us through everything.
We
have to accept His comfort in the toughest of times.
Where
has Jesus been when you were at your lowest points?
