In the World Race community, there is a common phrase to capture the, sometimes frustrating and crazy, cultural differences in Africa and America. The phrase is “This is Africa” or “T.i.A.”. It’s an umbrella phrase that becomes a catchall for many things that are truly African in nature and some things which could happen anywhere. Though not necessarily meant to be an excuse, it is something used to get us through the experience when necessary.
My team is now in our third African country and I’d like to share a few TiA experiences of my own with the blog world…
Kenya
– Lack of petrol (gas):
o 1:15pm – informed we may not have petrol as we are piling in the car to leave church and petrol station has been out of petrol all day
o 1:39pm – leave church, pray for enough petrol to get us to the house 20 minutes away
o 1:45pm – flat tire
o 1:57pm – tire changed, on the way again
o 2:03pm – run out of petrol
o 2:15pm – we have been picked up, leaving Pastor on roadside with car & are at petrol station; think the plan was to bring petrol back to Pastor because the petroleum truck came by while flat tire was being changed. However, everyone in town is at the station….head home. Pastor comes in hours later.
– Time passes much slower. What feels like hours could actually only be 20 minutes.
– Shady looking meetings with local pastors in the car at grocery store parking lots simply because Pastor wants us to meet everyone. J
– Body odor.
– 14 passenger matatu (van) with six Americans and 10…correction 13…Kenyans.
– Praise music BLARING in said matatus, some of which have TV screens with a cheap music video to give visual aide to the blaring audio.
– “This food may not find me” – a Kenyan phrase meaning one might die before the food at a hotel (restaurant) is served.
– Static electricity due to hairy legs…which are due to the lack of showers…which is due to the lack of water…
– Tents inside a building due to mosquitos
– Offroading, in a matatu, on a city sidewalk, to bypass traffic
– Baboons & zebras on the roadside
– Learning to potty with daypack, purse and jacket on because the public toilets are filthy, flooded or otherwise nasty enough you’re convinced you’ll get typhoid just by stepping into it. There’s no way you’re setting anything down anywhere in there.
– LOTS of “hurry up and wait” times.
– RIDICULOUSLY LOUD church services! Like distortion, tissue-in-ears-to-muffle-sound kind of ridiculous.
– Parade, complete with brass band, through town to promote new church location
– Lots of shouting during preaching
– Drawing a crowd from several yards away because our white skin stands out like a neon sign in the sea of black skin. …and because Africans have no shame in staring.
– Dancing like a chicken in church
– Transportion:
o 2:30pm – vans to transport 22 people to Indian Embassy scheduled to arrive
o 2:45pm – call to find out where vans are; stuck in traffic
o 3:00pm – the time we were supposed to be at Embassy; call vans again, told the vans are at hostel
o 3:07pm – call vans again; they are close by, but want 2000 more Kenyan Shillings per van than originally agreed to. Hah! No chance. We’re forced to quickly sort out alternate transportation for all 22 people. Visas can only be picked up today, between 3 and 4pm.
o 3:15pm – take off walking to a bus stop; public transport, baby!
o 3:43pm – make it to the Hilton Hotel stop where we need to get off to get to Embassy.
o 3:44pm – all 22 Americans literally run through downtown Nairobi to get to Embassy on time
o 3:54pm – arrive at the Embassy; some of us are already upstairs in visa office, some wait.
o 4:00pm – everyone is in visa office waiting room
o 4:01pm – start receiving visas
o 4:40pm – everyone leaves. …with visas in hand! PRAISE GOD.
Uganda
– Having a shower does not equal having water to actually take a shower.
– Getting crapped on by a local acid-crapping bug, resulting in a chemical burn on neck.
– If broken, the toilet will be fixed at 10pm. This is not seen as a problem.
– “Overnight” prayer services which begin at 10pm and run until…
– Ugandan toddlers passing out on your lap, then peeing on you with no diaper right before you are asked to stand up and speak to a congregation of, roughly, 150 people.
– Waiting for fish & chapatti to be made at 10:30pm because ministry started at 8:30pm and hostess “would not be able to sleep if we hadn’t been fed.” J
– Crapping out samosas; consistently delicious & consistently rough on bowels.
– “gassing” Americans for money.
– Nightly prayer meetings with “torches” (flashlights) due to lack of electricity.
Tanzania
– Finding a bus at 6:00am in Dar es Salaam bus station is a zoo. Mass chaos.
– Arguing with bus driver who wants 60,000 extra shillings for our large baggage because he’s sweating trying to load it all underneath in the luggage compartment.
– pulling off on the side of the road for potty break on ten hour bus ride to Iringa. Africans and Americans alike disembark bus, find a spot in the woods, squat and leave a deposit. Bus driver gives 10 minutes for 50 people to do this. Starts honking & driving off while half of the Americans are still out in the woods.
– …..
We still have a couple of weeks left in Tanzania. It will not surprise me if there are more TiA situations to come. J
