I’m taking a step back in my
relationship with God. That’s right. It’s not a breakup; don’t get me wrong. I
have no desire to end my relationship with Him. It’s just to get better
perspective. No, this isn’t like one of those “let’s see other gods” things either.
That’s just stupid. But I’m realizing that what I have been basing my
relationship with God on is not necessarily what I, personally, have learned
about God, or what He has told me about Himself. I would say that a very large
part of my understanding of God is based on the teachings and words of wisdom
from many people in my life that I hold dear. I have had incredible people
speak incredible truth into me over the years, and I cannot express my
gratitude enough. I value their words and their opinions, and I value the
things they have told me about God. But the problem is that I value those
things too much sometimes.
People have told me things that
they have learned about God and I have taken those things into my relationship
with Him, as if I was the one to discover it. People have told me things they
have learned about me and I have
taken those things onto myself as if I
had discovered them. I am covered in cloth that is not my own. When I am
clothed like someone else, it is very difficult to be myself.
Now I am working hard to de-robe
(if you will allow me the analogy), to loose myself of the words of others, so
that I may receive the robe God desires for me. I seek to unlearn the things I have been taught, to un-define the meanings of words that describe God and me, to newly discover truths that cannot be
written or expressed, but can only be believed.
See, my identity is completely
and solely based on Who God is. I agree that it is an impossible task to
understand God. However, I know that to know myself, I must first know God. And
I want to know Him because of the things He has shown me, the things I’ve seen
with my own eyes, not because I learned it in a classroom, textbook, or
sanctuary. As my dear friend and brother, Jimmy McCarty, puts it, I am owning
my faith. It does not belong to anyone else (I could go into the importance of
fellowship and interdependence, but that’s for another day).
Looking at this blog, even, from
this perspective, I want to make sure that what I say is expressed as something
I have learned myself, and using the blog as a medium to express and process
what I am learning. Read every word on here with the perspective that you need
to go out and learn your own lessons with God. You need to discover The Lord
with an intimacy only you have with Him. I hope to write more blogs in the near
future as I process through my relationship with Him, expressing what I have
learned as best I can. Please write comments, questions, or concerns as you see
fit. I would love to hear your thoughts throughout this whole thing.
I am already learning new things
about God and it is incredibly exciting. Try it.
Thanks for reading.
In my last blog, Quarter Century!, I talked about my upcoming birthday and my need for financial support in order to continue working for The World Race. I need to raise $800 a month to take care of my physical and financial needs. Please consider giving online (Support Me! link to the left) or through mail at this address, appealed to me:
Adventures In Missions, PO Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
[Adventures In Missions is registered with the Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donors will receive receipts for their gifts with the understanding that the disbursement of those gifts lies completely at the discretion of Adventures In Missions and that the gifts are non-refundable and non-transferable, per IRS regulations. Gifts may be tax deductible; please consult a tax advisor.]
Thank you all for your your love and support!
