I hate denominations. More accurately, I hate the fact that there are different denominations. I hate being labeled so I refuse to call myself “United Methodist”, “Assembly of God” or even “non-denominational.” A man once asked me if I believed that you could lose your salvation and before letting me respond said, “Well, just tell me what denomination you belong to” as if that would answer his question.
I’m a Christian. I’m a Jesus-follower. I worship God. I like to sing loud in church. I like to raise my hands. I like to jump around when I’m filled with the joy of the Lord. I love praying in tongues. It takes me straight into the presence of the Lord and I can pray for things I don’t even know I need prayer for. I love when God gives me dreams and visions. I love when He gives me words of encouragement for people around me.
Some people would say those things make me charismatic. I say they make me Brady. It’s just the way God wired me. The problem comes when I doubt those things because the people around me don’t believe in them or don’t want any part in them.
Sunday night was the first time since the Race began that I went to church by myself. The church here in Phnom Penh is totally on fire for God. New Life Fellowship was started in 1994, shortly after a gruesome war ended that left 2 million citizens dead. The church is young, but then again, this whole country is young. Seventy-five percent of the country is under 30. The church is alive. When they start to worship I feel the presence of God there. They have a rockin worship band and people jump to the music. You can see the joy of the Lord on their face and hear it in their voices as they sing. They love the Lord.
I love to worship there because I feel free to worship any way I want. That is, until there’s another World Racer standing beside me. They’ve told me before that they support who I am, it’s just not who they are, but I still worry about what they’ll think of me.
My problem is that I fear man. I’ve always cared too much what other people think of me. I can’t jump during worship because the person next to me will label me or they’ll think I’m faking it or just trying to fit in with the other church members. I can’t pray in tongues or they’ll freak out. They won’t understand. They’ll reject me.
Those things may or may not be true but it shouldn’t matter. I should be who I am just as, by not doing those things, they are being who they are. Why do I care so much what other people think about me? I should only care what God thinks about me. He knows my heart. He knows if I’m being sincere or not. There is no one stopping me but me.
In John 12:42-43 it talks about Jewish leaders who believed in Jesus “but because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.”
Lord, I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to care only what you think about me. Thank you that you see my heart. Thank you for wiring me to worship you the way you did. Please help me not be afraid of what people around me may think but to always feel free to worship you. I pray against the fear of man in my life. Fear does not come from you so I bind it and cast it away from me in Jesus’ name. AMEN!
