Quickly checking my make-up in the mirror, I grab my purse and head off to work. I flag down a bus and get in. I wish I was going anywhere but work. It’s been 5 months now and I still dread going.
I ring the bell to signal my stop. Walking up to this place, I feel myself cringe inside. I want to turn around and run but instead I take a deep breath and force myself to continue forward. Pushing the door open, I’m met with that now familiar stench of smoke, liquor, and lust. The neon pink lights scream my shame.
If I could find another way to make money, I would. But there’s no job where I can earn enough to support my parents and two kids back home. At 18 I got married, thinking I was in love. I dreamed of a happy life for us, raising a family, growing old together. But my husband turned out to be utterly useless. I had no choice but to take sole responsibility for financially supporting my family. There’s no work in my village so I moved here to Pattaya. That was 5 months ago.
I grab a stool next to the other girls and wait for the first customers to come in. If I only worked in the bar, it wouldn’t be so bad, but I only make 2500 Baht a month in the bar. I have to send home at least 10,000 Baht a month to support my family. And there’s only one way to make that kind of money.
A wave of depression sweeps over me. I’ve only been able to afford going home once since I moved here. I miss my kids. I miss my parents. I miss my friends back home. Then again, most of my friends have been forced to leave and work in places like this to support their families. There aren’t many of us that get to stay and live a normal life.
The door opens and a man enters. Immediately, the girls all flock to him, hoping to get his attention. Not for his love of course, but for his business. They don’t like it any more than I do, but there’s only one way to survive around here.
Most of them are convinced that they’ll meet a farang (foreigner) that will fall in love with them and take them out of here. They swear it’s happened before to a friend of a friend of a friend. I’m not convinced, but it’s a nice idea. Who wouldn’t want to think a white knight in shining armor is going to gallop in here, sweep them up and take them out of this life?
Enough sitting around. Time to put my game face on. If I want to make enough tonight, I have to find a man to take me out. Then I have to work hard to please him so I can get a good tip.
A group of men, drunk already, laugh obscenely loud at a joke one told. The girls pretend to understand and laugh too but I can see what the men don’t look close enough to notice. Their eyes are empty, Their giggles are hollow. You learn how to detach yourself. Close off your heart so you can’t feel it ripping.
The door opens again, but this time it’s two women. It’s not too surprising, we even get couples coming in on a regular basis. There’s little that shocks me anymore. But there’s something different about these women. They don’t look like the others.
Curious, I hop off my stool and head over. Sitting down with them, they start asking our names and making friendly conversation. I was right, they’re not like the others. Still cautious, I go off to get their drinks: two waters. When I come back, several other girls have gathered around to listen.
Some girls begin to open up to them, talking about their personal lives: parents, kids, work. I notice a cross around the neck of one. My friend said that people who wear those are called Christians.
I asked her what that meant but she wasn’t really sure.
The ladies hand each of us a flier for a free English class at the Tamar Center. We talk for awhile longer and soon it’s time for the women to leave. They ask if they can pray for us.
They’ve been gone for 10 minutes now. I look down and realize I’m still clutching the flier. The Tamar Center.
This story is based on a woman named Wan I met in a bar on Walking Street but is common to many of the prostitutes and bar girls throughout Thailand. They rarely work in this industry by choice, but by necessity. The Tamar Center reaches out to these women and provides opportunities for a new life. They offer training in hairdressing, card making, and baking. They run a bakery and coffee shop and hair salon next to the center. In addition to handmade cards, they make journals, picture frames, gift bags and candles. You can buy these online at www.tamarcards.com. To read more about the Tamar Center and what you can do to support this ministry, visit their website at: http://www.ywamthai.org/pattaya/tamar.html
