I was broken at training camp. Broken over and over. Broken about my past, broken for my fellow racers, broken for the lost people of the world. When our teams were formed I was broken again. I had been praying all week, “God, I trust you completely with the formation of the teams. I don’t care who’s on my team, as long as one of these people I have grown close to is with me.” I failed to see the contradiction in my prayer until the teams were formed. I was disappointed because none of the people I
had wanted to be with were on my team. It’s not that I disliked my
teammates in any way, it’s just that I didn’t really know them. My pledged trust in God was definitely put to the test. However, I wasn’t the only one that was disappointed in some way and tears were shed. Our team spent some time alone together and I really believe we formed bonds through our tears, prayers, and sharing. Since that night, two of the women on my team have realized that this trip is not where God is calling them right now. I found myself crying again, this time over the loss of my teammates. Amazing how I was broken when our team was formed and broken as it was being pulled apart.
We’re protective of our wounded areas and don’t want to let anyone near
them, even God. Or, you might be like me. I was totally unaware of my limp until God stepped in and rebroke it. I had been walking with that limp for 10 years.
Maybe, like me, you’ve been walking with a limp so long you don’t even notice it anymore. Or perhaps you’re the opposite. When you step out of bed every morning, you feel the pain shoot through your body but you’ve decided it’s easier to tough it out than go through the pain of being rebroken. The great thing is that God doesn’t leave you sitting there in pain. He resets and reheals so that you can walk normal again.
What kind of pain are you experiencing? Is it dull pain or sharp? Does it come on suddenly when you least expect it or is it a constant pain? Is it in one particular spot or or do you feel like your whole body hurts? No matter what area of your life you’re experiencing pain in, God wants to heal you. He doesn’t want to you walking through life with a limp because it holds you back from reaching your full potential. Of course it will hurt when you get broken again. No, it probably won’t be a pleasant experience to go through all the hurt, the emotions, the suffering you’ve been through. And you may have more than one broken bone. It could take awhile to reach the point of total healing. But ultimately, how much faster and father could you run without the limp, without the pain?
We live in a society of instant gratification. Almost anything can be treated with a pill, no work required. No dedication, no long-term commitment. But God has shown me that normal life doesn’t work that way. Quick fixes aren’t always available. If God chooses, he can heal us in an instant, but oftentimes, healing is a process. Through this process we can learn more about ourselves, others, and God. We grow stronger when we’re required to work on it everyday than when we’re given an instant fix. It’s not as easy as taking a pill, it will require hard work and dedication, but your efforts will be rewarded. Eventually, you’ll be able to run so fast your feet won’t even touch the ground!
I want to encourage you to let God “go there.” Let him take you back to the places in your life where you’ve been broken. Try to gain a new understanding of the event or situation. Feel free to ask God questions. He wants to reveal new things to you. Be patient and listen for his answer and make sure you’re open to the variety of ways he can answer. It may come in your thoughts, through conversations with friends/family, through a sermon, or through a book, show, or movie. For me, it’s come from all these areas. Another method I find useful is to talk it over with someone who doesn’t know about the situation. Sometimes all it takes is them asking the right question and I’ll get a new insight. There are many methods God can use so just keep your heart peeled for an answer.
God wants to heal you. He wants to restore you. He loves you and cares for you. You may be hobbling into His arms now but one day you will be running free!
I sat down tonight with the intention of writing an up-beat blog about my awesome financial praise reports. Apparently, God had something else in mind because this is what I wrote instead. I believe God has a really good reason for me writing this particular blog tonight. Maybe you’re the person He had me write it for.
