As we approach the end of the World Race so
many variables are up in the air. Before
Erika and I left on the World Race our primary prayer was that God would show
us what the next step of our lives was to look like. While in Africa, I was
starting to get restless because we still did not know what was next for
us. We kept praying, but heaven appeared
to be silent on the issue. I would pray,
“God, I need to know the next step so I can start getting things in
order.” In God’s infinite wisdom He did
not tell me early in the trip because He knew I would pull my hair out if I had
too much time. While in Berlin, God made
it CRYSTAL CLEAR what the next step in our endeavor was! He told Erika and I over and over and OVER
that we needed to move to Pasadena, California where I would be attending
Fuller University for a MDIV. I was
overwhelmed and super excited all at the same time. Before the World Race, I had never wanted to
attend a seminary school, and I NEVER WANTED TO MOVE TO CALI. But somehow, both things became the desire of
my heart when God breathed life on it!!!
I am so thankful He gave me vision and direction! Once I got the “word of the Lord,” I took off
sprinting to get stuff done! Within a
day, Erika and I had applied for school, loans, housing, jobs . . . you get the
picture.
God has wired me to be a man that knows how
to accomplish tasks with excellence and in an efficient manner! I say that to credit Him for the gifts He gave
me, not to boast in myself. (However, I
am freaking incredible and awesome!) We
began doing everything Erika and I needed to do for the move. At the end of the day, I looked around and
God was not there. I looked back and He
was still at the word GO. He had not
been invited into the process of accomplishing stuff. I stopped what I was doing and said, “Lord, I
am sorry I left you at GO! Please be a
part of this process. I am sorry I did
not invite you into the process.” In
that time I realized how Moses felt when God told him to cross over into the
promise land. Moses did not want to be
in the promise land, He wanted to be with God.
His heart cried, “God, I can’t go anywhere without you! You are my life and nothing else
matters! Lord, stay with me! Let me stay with you!!!!” This became the cry of my heart! Lord, I can’t go to school without you! I can’t make this move unless you are there
with me. I need you as the breath in my
lungs and food to my stomach. I knew in
that moment that God was with me and would be moving with me! Shortly after this, God reminded me of Genesis
15:1– After these
things the word of the LORD came unto Brad in a vision, saying, Fear
not, Brad: I am your shield, and your exceeding great reward. (God was
talking to Abram not Brad)
Knowing God is
our reward is comforting; knowing God is a rewarder of those who diligently
seek Him also encourages me! I have to
confess to you that I had a major faith crisis in this situation. To move across the country without your
friends and family is a very hard decision to make! Yet, to be obedient to God is so worth
it! In the mix of things I began
thinking of the reality of the situation.
I was moving across the country with my wife! We do not have jobs, and the economy is not
fantastic . . . I will be enrolled in school and trying to adapt to a new life
after being out of the country for a year . . . the weight of the situation was
getting pretty heavy! God is really
clear that if a man can not provide for his family his religion is in
vain. Shoot, I don’t want to be that
man! Yet, I don’t have a job or even
Internet access where I am to look for one.
I began to have anxiety and stress on a scale I have never experienced
before! I was actually sick for almost a
week because of the stress and anxiety I had taken on! I could not shake it! I know that the Bible tells us to be anxious
about nothing! Yet I could not pray
enough to release my anxiety. I was
talking with my team about the situation and they gave me the insight I needed
to approach this situation and gain victory.
One of my team members told me my mindset was all wrong. She told me my fear was a result of having a
poverty mindset – the belief that no matter how much I have, it would never be
enough. No matter how many times God has
come through and provided for me, I am always afraid it won’t happen the next
time! Whoah… smack…. punch…. right
in the face! That is it! I have seen the provision of God countless
times, but I fear it is not for me! I
know God loves me, and desires to give me good gifts and even His kingdom. Yet I could not defeat my fear and poverty
mindset. Now that I saw the monster for
what it was, I began to attack, rather than continue to be attacked! I began to renew my mind, and I resolved that
God “…provides our needs according to His riches…” God DOES provide! He wants to take care of me! He is a good daddy! While the situation I find myself in has
still not changed (we still don’t have enough money to make the move, jobs,
etc), my mindset has changed. I trust
God in a new way! I believe God wants me
to go to Pasadena, and I believe He will provide for me! I don’t expect money to fall from the sky,
but I realize that income is always faith-based, even if we work for a huge
company like Google. At the end of the
day, God is the one who allows us to get a paycheck and stay employed.
In this process,
God has had me reading about Samuel. I
read something interesting in:
1 Samuel10:25– Then Samuel told the people the ways of
royalty, and wrote it in a book, and
laid it up before the LORD. And Samuel
sent all the people away, every man to his house.
I began to think
of royalty and the life of someone raised in a King’s palace. A prince, king, princess – they all know who
they are and never fear having lack. The
thought of not being provided for would never cross their minds because
everything is at their disposal at any moment.
(Selah) In God’s Kingdom we are sons and daughters, and we are co-heirs
to the throne, thanks to Jesus.
According to logic, this makes us kings, princes, queens and
princesses. By default, we should not
worry about stuff because we know that God is for us and not against us. He tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong – He did not tell us NOT
to plan for tomorrow, just not to WORRY about it! Now that I have my head on right, I am
reminded who I am in Christ! In God, the
promises are yes and amen and I am moving from Glory to Glory! This whole situation has me moving closer
into the Heart of God! I realize that
this is very much about now and what I am going through! I also realize this is about my heart posture
and how I choose to respond to the stimulus thrown at me. Beyond that, this is about me gaining victory
over something so that I can equip people for the same battle in their own
lives! I praise God that He is
multi-dimensional and incredible all the time!
