Man I feel like S

Today… was a bad day! I woke up
feeling like I was a disgrace to God. I felt like I was forsaking my
Savior. I have lost my passion for Him in some ways… sure I’m on
an amazing mission trip… but I am burned out and miss my
relationship with my Savior. I feel like Moses a bit when he told
God he would not go anywhere without His presence. I don’t want to
do a thing if He is not leading or directing. This morning I woke up
and felt a MAJOR spiritual depression. I felt like I had lost
something and could not get it back… Then God showed up with
infinite grace. As usual God used a person to show me His love. God
sure loves relationships.

I still feel like absolute S…. and I
don’t mean $ or anything else. This has been a really exhausting
month and I am worn out and feel like I have been some huge dudes
punching bag. My inner man flat out hurts! I feel defeated yet know
I am more than a conquer. I want to lie down but it is time to awake
you sleepers. I want to sit down but I know I must stand. I feel
like I have been kicked in the butt yet I know I am the head not the
tail. I want to piss and moan… yet I know I should do all things
without complaining. I feel overcome by heaviness, yet I know I must
put on a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. Once David was
about to be stoned by all of his friends because their women and
children were kidnapped (1Samuel
30). In verse 6 it says David strengthened himself in the
Lord….

So what do we do when we feel like
this? To we just roll over and take it or do we find the inner
resolve, stand up and fight?

What do you do when you are out of gas
and you don’t have the energy to pick up the sword? What do you do
when you feel like all the oil has been burned out of your torch?
Can you find the Holy Spirit within yourself and stand up and fight
the good fight of FAITH? Do not be deceived we are in a fight and
our enemy is like a lion and
he would like to devour us! However, we are more than conquers, we
must simply stand up and fan the flame. We must be careful to now
allow our torch to be extinguished. There are days where your arm is
tired and you want to put the torch down but you can’t! There are
days where it is raining so hard you are certain that the flame will
be quenched. Yet you mustn’t allow the torch to be extinguished.