My time in Georgia has been challenging and a time of growth. There’s been many great breakthroughs God has done in and through me. The last four months have been shaken up and refined by God to be all He wants me to be as a Man of God.
At the beginning of my time in this missions training program called CGA we had a choice of either taking a class on calling. The calling class is a practical class where you take tests, do hands-on activities to find out where you fit in what God has called you to be in your life. This class is right up my alley. I thought. Then the other class was about identity. This class was talking about emotions and doing activities where God spoke to us about what we needed to let go to be more of the person we are in Christ.
Dealing with my emotions sounds like fun God. Not really. I dealt with this enough on the World Race. I’m good God really I’m good. Pretty solid in who I’m as a man of God and how i was created to be for His glory.
When I spent some time praying into what class I should take on Wednesdays. God wanted me to take the identity class. At first I said why God? I’m pretty accepting at others crying and showing their emotions. Put me in a counselor role and I’m good. Good Listener to others and slow to speak. That’s me.
The problem is that i’m not good at dealing with my personal emotions. Most of the time when problems come up in my life and especially when emotions are involved I resort to one of two things. One is to withdraw from others who are around me. For example, I hate saying goodbyes to people after a season is over. For the last two years that’s all I’ve done is say goodbye’s to many people. There’s times where I duck out of the crowd and run away so no one knows I left. The funny thing is that I love being around people. The other way I deal with emotions is sometimes I use humor to diffuse dealing with emotions. Now God has gifted with saying random things that are humorous in a good way! Sometimes I’ve been called out on how I deal with things and been told it’s good if you said you were upset instead of using jokes to deal with your emotions.
So I ended up taking the identity class instead of calling class. Thanks God. Wednesday’s quickly became my least favorite day of the week for a while. Dealing with emotions it’s not for me God.
The World Race helped me peel of the first layer of rejection, competition, pride, and feeling I’m just below the line in some areas. If I had a little more charm, didn’t show weakness in some areas, or more athletically gifted then I would be good enough.
God wanted to shake me up this fall in Georgia. God also wanted to refine me. He wanted me to let go of things that were rooted in me for too long. He wanted me to embrace some things that He has created me as a Man of God.
I want you to picture yourself in a fresh ground pepper shaker. The one that you can turn to grind the pepper seeds. Everyone has black pepper seeds that have built up inside of you over your life. The pepper seeds represent dark things in our lives. This is the lies the Devil wants us to believe about ourselves.
Some of my pepper seeds the Devil has been trying to tell me who I was as Blake were:
1. The Lie of Competition. Naturally I’m a very competitive person when it comes to playing volleyball, ultimate frisbee, card games, Monopoly, Facebook likes/comments. Name it. I could make it a contest. When I would do good I felt like people liked me because I performed well. When I did terrible or not make plays in the game this would make me angry in the game. Felt like a loser and people didn’t want me to play.
2. The Lie of Rejection. Many things in my life have stemmed from this lie. My dad left me at young age, teased at in school, picked last on teams, and people rejected me. Fact is the world isn’t a perfect place and this happens. The problem is when actions you do or not do is based on avoiding rejection.
3. Thinking I’m below the line. This one is a little different but similar to rejection. There’s been times where in the past I’ve been not picked for jobs, opportunities, and by women because I’ve thought I needed one more quality to be above the line. Now this happens for good reasons we can’t see but constantly viewing yourself below the line is not how God sees us.
4. Wanting affirmation from people instead of God first. Now God gave us relationships in life because He created us as relational beings. Our priority has to be pleasing Christ first in all we do. There’s times where my motives haven’t been right and I wanted certain people to give me approval especially in the form of verbal affirmation.
So this is an example of pepper being in my life. Now God wanted me to go through a process of refinement. God shook me up by me being honest about where I was at even when this was hard for me to do. I wanted to quit several times because for once I didn’t want to be one who is expressing the junk in my life. Move on to someone else. This refinement really sucks. God refined some of the pepper and cleared some of the ugly black grinds out of my life. He wanted me to let go of things the lies that were holding me back. God also wanted me to pick up some things.
Some of the things He wanted me to pick up were:
1. Be real with where I’m at with my emotions. This is not a weakness in fact this shows strength. With being honest with where your at with your walk in life exposing ugly things about yourself will help you and others be free!
2. To be all about pleasing a party of one which is Christ and not about pleasing others. Some of y’all are like you deal with this on the Race. Yes, I did but this is constant refinement for most of us. The Race doesn’t cure you from all things in this broken world.
3. To fully embrace of who God created me to be in Christ! Everyone is unique and so am I.
At the end of Identity Class I was presented with a frame of how Christ sees me as a Son of God. Now the bigger the word the more my friends said this about me through the lens of Christ.
God has taught me many things while I’ve been in this missions training program called CGA with Adventures in Missions. Thank you to all of my supporters for everything much appreciated!
I do need some help! My next deadline is coming up FAST on January 1st. My next three to four months starting on January 30th will be in Guatemala.
To make the next deadline I need $1,222 to get there. If not I’m at risk of not being able to go to Guatemala. Right now is the Christmas season and all gifts are Tax-deductable. If you would like to support this ministry please go up top and click on the support me link. This will give you easy how to give instructions for Monthly supporters and One-time gifts by bank draft, check by mail, and plastic instructions easy online giving.
Keep me in your prayers, pass the word on and thank you for your support!
Merry Christmas!
