As I stare at the blinking cursor, I’m still not really sure what to write or how to close this amazing chapter of my life. I am back 
home, safe and sound. Re-entry has been much weirder than I expected. It’s not that I was unprepared or could have done something better before getting here, it’s just that I have been WRECKED for the ordinary, yet everything around me is surreal
in its absolute normality. The first few days were great surrounded by family and friends for Thanksgiving and football, but then my sisters went back to their colleges, mom and dad went back to work and I sat alone, let me repeat ALONE, in a room bigger than any I’ve shared with at least 5 other people in the past eleven months. The silence was screaming in my ears; so many thoughts were flying through my brain I couldn’t think straight. My emotions were many and all over the place. Pictures of face after face of beautiful children kept racing through my mind. I was praying. I was crying. I was confused.
home, safe and sound. Re-entry has been much weirder than I expected. It’s not that I was unprepared or could have done something better before getting here, it’s just that I have been WRECKED for the ordinary, yet everything around me is surreal in its absolute normality. The first few days were great surrounded by family and friends for Thanksgiving and football, but then my sisters went back to their colleges, mom and dad went back to work and I sat alone, let me repeat ALONE, in a room bigger than any I’ve shared with at least 5 other people in the past eleven months. The silence was screaming in my ears; so many thoughts were flying through my brain I couldn’t think straight. My emotions were many and all over the place. Pictures of face after face of beautiful children kept racing through my mind. I was praying. I was crying. I was confused. I was and still am fighting the frustration of not knowing what’s next for me. Every person I come in contact with asks two questions: first, “How was your trip?” and secondly, “So, what’s next?” The first question I have mastered, the second I have NOT. As the response “I’m not really sure yet” leaves my lips I can feel an internal battle of frustration, disappointment, and confusion collide with faith, hope, and patience. I smile and walk away from the conversation an utter mess, which brings me to my knees. On my knees I begin to do something that BLING has talked and learned a lot about this year, I begin to cultivate a heart of gratitude. I begin thanking Him for each beautiful face and 
memory that is flying through my head, I begin thanking Him for the 51 people who became my family over the course of eleven months. I thank him. This slowly begins taking the focus off of me and my self-pity. I then thank Him for His ever-constant provision and perfect timing while confessing my lack of faith and trust in just those things. As I continue thanking Him for everything that comes to mind my spirit is eased and my thoughts have found a new direction. I am encouraged by how many things I have to be thankful for and apologetic at how quickly I took my focus off of these amazing blessings. I finish by being thankful for my Abba Father who lets me curl up in His lap as he gently whispers in my ear “I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust me!” 
memory that is flying through my head, I begin thanking Him for the 51 people who became my family over the course of eleven months. I thank him. This slowly begins taking the focus off of me and my self-pity. I then thank Him for His ever-constant provision and perfect timing while confessing my lack of faith and trust in just those things. As I continue thanking Him for everything that comes to mind my spirit is eased and my thoughts have found a new direction. I am encouraged by how many things I have to be thankful for and apologetic at how quickly I took my focus off of these amazing blessings. I finish by being thankful for my Abba Father who lets me curl up in His lap as he gently whispers in my ear “I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust me!” There is a lot I currently don’t know, and at times that can be overwhelming. However, I am learning more and more each day about basking in the presence of God’s glory TODAY while letting go and laying my future at His feet, entrusting it fully into His care. To take the focus off of things I yet to have the answers to, I would like to share with you some of the things I DO know…
– I know that God is Sovereign and in complete control
– I know that I prayed for God to “break my heart for what breaks yours” and He did!
– I know that I am a forever a stranger in this foreign land as my citizenship is in heaven alone. (Philippians 3:20)
– I know that I asked for the nations as my inheritance and I will spend the rest of my life chasing after it. (Psalm 2:7-8)
– I know that I was created for “iron sharpening iron” type of community and won’t settle in to a life without it. (Proverbs 27:17)
– I know that I am in an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ and it just doesn’t get much better than that!
In this time of transition, of entering into a bit of the unknown, I am choosing to focus on the truths and promises that I do know. I am stepping out in faith that God’s word is, will be, and has always been the truth and that His timing alone is perfect.
**End of Blog**
Practical application: This is all I currently know of next…
– From now until December 20 I will be doing lots of traveling to Clemson, Tampa, Dallas, etc. to visit friends and attend a wedding!
– I will be in Montgomery for Christmas celebrating with and in true Brendle fashion!
– January 8-22 I will be living in Georgia taking part in Project Searchlight!
– February 27-March 3 I will be going back to Haiti taking my mom on her first mission trip! (Money donations to help pay for this trip would be an amazing Christmas present!!!!)
