Broken-Hearted in God’s Will
Where do I begin?
I’ll start by saying I’m obsessed with
my life here in Spain.
The beauty
The school
The people
The language
The adventure
The quiet
The hikes
The comfort
The challenge
The joy
Everyday the story God is writing in my
life gets deeper and richer. It’s becoming a beautiful revelation of His
radical, passionate, outrageous love.
These are my thoughts, things I’ve been learning and what is happening in my heart. Receive!!!
I believe that God leads us into pain, struggle
and into the wilderness to be tested. It creates a deeper intimacy and
desperation for Him, and it reveals what’s truly in our hearts. Count me in on
that. (I would have never said that before now, but I’ve learned that anything
is worth letting go of to get more Jesus).
If I entrust Him with my life, he will
use everything for His purposes. No one will move me, unless God says move. Everything
that is wrapped up in Him, is what He has for me. He has His best for me. Even
if it doesn’t look like it at the time, I need to embrace and believe it
because my life is not my own. What He has for me, is the BEST. It might look
different from what I thought was best for me. I need to surrender my own will even
though I don’t understand the circumstance. I need to make a choice to trust
him. The wild rough days are the ones I remember. Do I really trust Him? Yes,
and the best decision is to truly be the clay in the potters hand. I desire to
be moldable. Can I surrender myself to God’s will and desire for me? Yes, and when He reveals the next step I
don’t need to answer him back with “I’m going to go pray about it.” I don’t
want to tell Him no. I want to have a willing heart so that it doesn’t make me
lord over my own life.
He has a purpose in all He does, even
if it doesn’t turn out the way I envisioned, I have to choose to give Him
control. He saw the end from the beginning when He created you and me and He is
really obsessed with me becoming the Birkleigh he created me to be. If I can be broken about one person
breaking my heart, I want God to take me from that season to a life of
brokenness for this generation, and be a deliverer of the brokenhearted. I am
seeing Him bring me through the hurt and show me there is so much more for my
life. There is so much more to a circumstance. There is a promise fulfilled on
the other side and I’m getting after it because I desperately want more. I want
to be more like Him, and have more of His heart for this world.
Glory to Glory
I am Gods Will wherever I go. I don’t
need to sit and wonder what’s God’s will for my life? Am I making the right
decision, should I do this? Should I go there? Am I pleasing Him with my life? It’s
about asking the right questions. Am I bringing God glory with my life? Am I
bringing Kingdom wherever I go and are my motives pure? In Isaiah 30, it says
“if I turn to the left or the right I will hear a voice behind me saying, “This
is the way, walk in it.” That means I’m right in front of God’s will, and He’s
rooting for me in this whole thing. If I don’t make a decision to move, to go,
to stay, to give and to follow then I’m not giving Him much opportunity to hear
His voice. I know I have an
adventurous Spirit and walking in God’s identity for me is the best way to
live. He not only loves me, but He likes me and He really wants me to see
myself as He sees me. For me, it’s a daily decision to put on truth and throw
off the lies. I don’t want to live a comfortable life, settling for mediocre
when my identity was for challenge, life and extraordinary. I’m no longer on a
solo journey to greatness. I’m on an
adventure that encompasses my heart, all of me and God’s passion for people
which is more like Christ than I’ve ever known.
I have Big dreams inside of this heart. Dreams that I
don’t have the step by step to, or all the kinks worked out, but I know they
will come to fruition. I was made to dream. I was made to jump, fly and reach
farther than I can imagine. I know it requires me to get from where I am to
where I need to be. A little sacrifice, prayer, willingness and craving for the
impossible is the perfect recipe for living a life beyond this world. Logic,
reason, answers and perfect circumstances aren’t enough for me. I have to have
HIM. I have to have His presence, voice, promises and love to move forward. I
have to have His love, the love that frees me to jump, fly and reach farther
than my own imagination can take me. So I tell Jesus, “I want to do everything,
go everywhere and love everyone.” It’s broad, big, extravagant and lofty.
PERFECT!!! I hear him say, “PERFECT, Beloved.”
So I move forward with
confidence that I have everything I need for life and Godliness. I am the very
expression of God on Earth. That is the best job qualifications for whatever He
has created me to do. I can dream, vision cast, move and touch people’s lives
all day long, but If I don’t know my identity as the object of His affection,
than I’m robbing myself and everyone else of JOY. True JOY comes when I know my
purpose and walk confidently in it. It’s not about me just living my life as I
choose, hoping I’ll get it right and make a difference. I want to live dangerously, risk everything and LOVE
BIG. Nothing and no one will keep me from loving like JESUS. No amount of hurt,
pain, disappointment and rejection will change my DNA. I am a daughter of the
King. I am beautiful. I am worthy of love 100%, so I will speak truth, walk in
my God-given beauty and live my life with no excuses and Love with His Love.
His love covers a multitude of SINS. My past is in the past, and my hurt and
pain are in the past too. I have to leave them there and go forward with
victory, joy and excitement to love again. I was made for it. I was made to
LOVE, not made to not. Anything less than that is not my purpose and I’m not
even going to waste time with thoughts about me that are not in God’s mind. God
redeems all of time. He redeems the hurt, the pain, the rejection so I can love
like it’s new. Am I immune to pain? No, I’m not, but I have the Creator of the
universe on my side, so I can do anything!
I’m alive. I’m passionate. My life
matters and so does the life of every single human being that has ever lived,
lives now and will live. The life I choose is one that I’ve laid down to pick
up the life that He died to give me. That is my story everyday, and I cannot
keep silent. I will not keep silent about the love that has transformed my life
from destruction and defeat when I had abundance and victory waiting for me in
a package wrapped in the blood of Jesus who makes all things new.
Are you broken today? Has your heart
been damaged? Are you crying out for more? Are you asking the wrong questions?
Well, I pray that this would encourage you to live, to truly live in your
identity as God’s beloved creation. You are made in His image, and there is so
much inside you waiting to burst forth and bring hope, love and peace to a
world that is absolutely desperate.
YOU ARE THE WILL OF GOD!!!
