Our last night with our entire squad in Turkey, I had my friend Drea massage a knot out of my neck. She rubbed my jaw and asked me if it was really sensitive and I said yes. I asked her why its so sore, and she said, do you really want to know? Of course, I replied. She told me the reason why my neck was sore was because my jaw was sore and that was because I had been talking too much. I knew she was right and we joked about it for a minute and then I heard the Lord say, I want you to fast from talking. I knew it was I needed to do, so I told her, I’m going to do a silent fast, I think God is asking me to be quiet and listen to Him. She completely agreed and I knew it was going to be a challenge, cause if anyone knows…they know I’m a talker.
The next day I got encouragement from the Lord from Ecclesiastes 5: 2-6 which says, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin.”
Fast forward to 1 day later, we’ve moved hostels and its just my team (MOSAIC). We all felt God leading us to fast, in all of our own ways and so we fasted, prayed and worshipped God. It’s the evening of our first day and I’m so encouraged. I did my silent fast from sunrise to sunset and it seriously taught me so much. We all want to go to a mosque during a worship service to learn more about Islam, and this is how we’re preparing ourselves.
He spoke to me today! There is freedom in giving up something I value for God and obedience in letting go. Contentment, Peace, Dependence, and Security in Him. I feel like He’s having me fast to love, fast so I can love even my enemies. Matthew 5: 44 says, 44-“But I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 46-if you love those who love you, what reward will you get?” I want him to make me hungry for LOVE and to LOVE with a pure heart. What does that even look like?
Psalm 119 rocked my world today! In verse, 9-“How can a man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.” 133-“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” 165-“Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Proverbs 10: 19 says, “when words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” He’s showing me that when I listen to His voice and draw close to Him that I will know LOVE, because He is LOVE!
Isaiah 30: 15 says, “This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy one of Israel, says: In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…” I found Jesus in my silence, I found Jesus in my rest and I found Jesus in a 99.9% Muslim country. Whether I do a food fast, silent fast and or internet fast or whether I’m in the U.S. or abroad…He is always looking at my heart and desires obedience over sacrifice.
The Black Sea in Istanbul…on a ferry!
