“I can see it now, I can see the love in your eyes.
Laying yourself down. Raising up the broken to life.”
-Broken Vessels, Hillsong
This month was a month that I will forever remember, maybe even a little more so than some of the other months on this Race.
I started this month already in what most would call “a funk”.
We arrived at our sweet host family’s house and began to set up our sleeping pads in the living room. After we got all settled in, I set up my hammock on the outside of the house and just sat with the Lord. In that moment, I wish I could tell you all I felt was pure excitement for the month to come, but reality is, I felt the exact opposite.
It didn’t really make much sense, I should have been excited. I was walking into month 10 of my World Race, I was in a new beautiful country, getting ready to serve with some pretty incredible hosts. Yet, I found myself in a funk.
I spent days sitting with the Lord trying to figure out why, but I stayed in this state, just getting by for the majority of 2 weeks.
I would go to ministry, play with preschoolers, teach english to local students, and serve in a local shop owned by my host, then come “home” and just shut down.
I was this way until I had a wake up call, realizing that it was okay to admit that I wasn’t okay (read my previous blog for more on that).
Then, once I chose to walk in all the Lord had this month, it truly turned into a month that my heart fell in love with.
I remember riding home from teaching english one night with one of our hosts, Toni, on the back of her motorbike. As the wind blew all around me, I looked up at the beautiful Cambodian night sky. I was reminded of our Creator, and how His creation isn’t just limited to the seven days it took to create the universe, but He truly is creating each day, each moment, each encounter in our lives, constantly.
How often do we go about our days, and miss that creation? We so routinely just go through the motions, no matter where we are in the world, and forget to partner with the One who orchestrates each and every moment.
Truth is I let my head and my flesh get the best of me this month. I was broken, tattered, and imperfect, to say the least.
But even still I was a vessel.
A vessel that the Lord still poured out His love, kindness, and spirit through.
He raised up my broken self, and brought it to life.
I will forever look back at this month and remember it as the month of The Broken Vessel.
I will forever and always cherish the big beautiful eyes of the 30-some preschoolers we taught almost everyday.
I will hold on to the lessons of hard-work taught by our hosts, who seemed to never have a moment of rest, yet still pushed on and excelled at everything they did.
I will remember the melodious sound of Srey Pov, our hosts sister, who sang with all her might beautiful praises to The Lord whenever she got a chance.
I won’t forget the valuable lessons I learned of vulnerability, and fearless honesty when it comes to admitting how you REALLY are doing.
I won’t forget the beautiful people we met, who made more than one tear escape my stubborn eyes as we drove away for the last time.
I won’t walk away from this past month the same, but hold on to the change the Lord did so boldly in my heart.
My recap video doesn’t even do this month any kind of justice, but will give you a pretty good glimpse of the memories made there.
I am also adding my teammate, Molly’s, recap video of the month here as well.
It’s a video that will absolutely make you smile and show you what our life was like in Cambodia!
ENJOY.
Month 10, you were great.
Month 11, the final act, you’re up.
