If only we were…
skinnier…curvier….taller…shorter…lighter-skinned….darker-skinned…
able to love ourselves.
True Beauty….God's word, His creation, and His people.
Recently, I have decided I am not entirely in agreement with the expression “Beauty is only skin deep.”
I think that true beauty pierces all the way through the soul, and shines through in ways that are undeniable.
I have had a few moments on the Race where God has spoken to me specifically through different squad mates, and I can still pinpoint many exact statements and exactly how they hit me.
One morning in Thailand, after sleeping in the drizzling rain on the rooftop of the cafe we worked in, I had the chance to Skype my LifeGroup girls from church during their Wednesday night meeting. For half an hour I got to hear how life was at home, at church, and in some of my most supportive girlfriends lives.
But can I be vulnerable and raw for a moment and tell you the internal battle I struggled with after hanging up? All of my lovely LifeGroup girls had come from work, meaning their hair was freshly trimmed and styled, their make up was fresh on flawless skin, and their sophisticated business outfits were put together with the perfect balance of class and trend.
Business girl! ~Pinterest~
I, on the other hand, was wearing the same grundy grey tank top I had slept in for three solid months. My make-up free face showed the few extra pounds I had put on in Central America and the unwelcome breakouts that sleeping on airport floors will create. My scraggly, untrimmed hair wouldn’t have known a hair dryer if it tripped over one, and probably would have mistaken a curling iron for a water purification device.
Later that same day, I was talking to Tasha about these insecurities and asked some typical insecure girl question along the lines of “Do I look like as much of a grungy third world missionary as I am imagining I do? I bet everyone thinks I have let myself go to the dogs already and it is only April.”
Her response? “I bet they thought you looked beautiful because you are walking in your calling. And when you are walking in the calling God has for you, you are automatically the most beautiful you have ever been.”
Whoa. Preach on, girl.
Our first weekend in Kenya, Tasha’s team, along with Leah and I, were invited to speak at an all-girls high school conference. With an audience of 850 screaming, admiring teenage girls, we danced, sang, and preached our way to near stardom to the students of Mucahakos Girls High School.
Twice over the course of the weekend, we were split into smaller groups and asked to conduct a bit of a no-holes-barred Q & A session about anything and everything the girls couldn’t ask anyone else…school, boys, friends, sex, family, drugs, alcohol, music, etc. While doing this, I found myself at one point insisting that the girls recognize how beautiful they are in the eyes of God.
“God doesn’t mess up when He makes things. Everything about you was intentional, and He thinks you are absolutely stunning just the way you are. It is an a insult to God when you continually critique yourselves because you are saying that He made a mistake. Who here would stand before God and complain about something made in HIS image?”
Talk about an opportunity to learn to practice what you preach.
What is it about women that we always tend to criticize ourselves? Why do we fight compliments and think it more attractive to deny that we are beautiful rather than recognize that, really, we are?
God gave women softer features, softer curves, and softer hearts, knowing that in those things we would embody the beauty He sees in femininity.
And then, at some unfortunate point in American history, we began to think that beautiful women had sharp edges, visible bones, and “hear me roar” hearts. The fashion industry, with its stern-faced, rail-thin bodies, has had a trickle-down effect to the point that even 10 year old girls are now admitting to dieting.
So grateful this isn't how I was raised. ~Pinterest~
And I am completely guilty of falling under the spell that the media casts in deciding who and what is beautiful. A combination of circumstances in the year 2011 had me more image and body conscious than I have ever been. I began to unknowingly consider outer beauty as worthy of my time and energy as inner beauty. Heaven forbid I ran into someone while looking my worst on a quick grocery store run.
God had opened the door for me to do some low-key, very occasional local modeling jobs. The irony of modeling, even on a very low scale, is that in everyone else’s eyes you’re “pretty enough to model!” But in your own eyes you immediately begin to critique every square inch of yourself, feeling inadequate and glaringly imperfect. At times I felt more beautiful than I ever had, but it was always based on the efforts of working out, skin care, make-up application, and clothing.
Then the World Race began. And for the first time in my life, I was surrounded by a culture that focused on building character and growing in our identities as beloved children of God rather than focusing on success, money, or appearance.
Gone was my world of carefully calculated spin classes and spinach salads, facialist-recommended skin care products, and precise make-up.
And in the land of cold showers once a week, white carbohydrates, dirty living conditions, and basically the same four outfits for 11 months, God had to quickly redefine beautiful as I had come to think of it. And He did.
Beautiful women are confident. They are not arrogant or proud; they simply walk with their heads held high in understanding of who God says they are.
Beautiful women live honorably. They strive to love, encourage and uplift the people around them in everything they do. They do not gossip or disrespect others for any reason. Encouraging and speaking highly of other women comes naturally to them.
Beautiful women are faithful to what God puts in front of them. Whether it is a big task or small, they are faithful to work hard and love well because God has trusted them to do so.
Beautiful women live above reproach, recognizing that the way they represent themselves, their families, and their God is more important than momentary pleasure.
Beautiful women respect and encourage the men around them. They are not afraid of gender roles, and willingly submit to the authority given to Godly men.
Beautiful women are joyful and appreciate life. They laugh easily, celebrate small victories, and appreciate the little things that make life colorful, flavorful, and pleasurable.
And finally, beautiful women DO delight in how they physically present themselves as a shining example of God’s creation. They care for their hair, skin, and bodies in a way that reflects their desire to care for the precious thing that God has entrusted them with.
So many varieties of beautiful…. ~Pinterest~
Mistake me not. Spin class, spinach salad, and facials are all on my to-do list soon after arriving back home, as mch for the detox needs as anything else. But this time it will be with the carefree confidence that those things are not what is making me beautiful; walking in the calling and identity I have as a daughter of God is. I will never work out because I hate my body; rather, I will work out, eat healthy, and care for my body because I love it.
And for now, the children in Africa throw themselves into my arms, wrapping their arms tightly around my neck and smiling with sheer joy. And here, walking down the red dirt roads that God called me to walk, I have never felt more beautiful or confident.
"Be the type of woman that gets up in the morning and the devil says…'Oh no. She's up.'" -anonymous
