I have just finished reading a book called “Kisses from Katie”.
And it has shaken me to my absolute core. I am FREAKING OUT.
I had to try to read it only in bed at night because I didn’t want to have to address the questions that would arise at the sight of my tear-filled eyes and terror-stricken face.
You see, this book isn’t like many of the other Christian books we read. You know, the ones that pretty much discuss the meaning of the gospel, with that particular author’s personal choice of style, language, and examples. And I love those books too, don’t get me wrong, particularly if they make me laugh or think really hard; but this book deserves a new category.
One of the main reasons it has struck home with me so hard is because the book is about a girl named Katie whose life (which is so saturated in her love for Christ) could easily be mine if I were willing. She came from a nice Christian home, born and raised in the relative wealth and provision of American culture. She was all set on the path to college, a ready-made husband and home, and a life of raising children in the love of Jesus in safe, comfortable suburban America.
The difference though, between Katie and I (and just about everyone else I know) is the level at which she is willing to dedicate her life to Christ. She decided to take a year and go to Uganda, Africa to work in an orphanage before starting college. Long story short, that year turned into 4 years, and she now (at 23 years old) has adopted 14 children, began a ministry, and spends all day every day looking for ways to serve and love in her community.
She has rescued children from cases of extreme poverty that we, from our comfortable American couches, have a hard time realizing actually exist. I won’t go into the gory details; just rest assured that whatever you are imagining is probably not gruesome enough. The fact that we (myself included, often), less than a day away by plane, like to pretend such poverty doesn’t exist, terrifies me.
And the thing is, Katie is not some sort of super-human. She admits to being terrified to leave her family, of being homesick, of missing the days of freedom and fun that being a carefree American kid brought.
She talks about how hard and scary it all is, and how she has repeatedly had to attempt to put her foot down and tell God “I simply can NOT care for another human being!” And yet, when the opportunity arises and He provides the means, she knows that she must say yes….and very soon after, she is always glad she did.
Any Christian who reads this book and does not feel convicted in some way to carry his or her faith beyond the church pew needs to seriously re-address his or her responsibility as a follower of Christ.
I am not saying that we are saved by our works, that we obtain our own righteousness, or that God doesn’t love you for any reason. What I AM saying is that God told us repeatedly that we have a responsibility to one another.
We are told to feed the hungry, visit the imprisoned, clothe the naked, care for orphans and widows. And other, scarier things: sell our possessions and give to the poor, leave our homes and families in order to seek and serve Him, constantly put the needs of others before our own, all to His Glory.
I don’t think that Jesus was giving rough examples when He said this stuff. He didn’t say “Um, well let’s see, it would be nice if you give up some of the stuff you want in order to help others once in a while. But only when the opportunity presents itself, and if you have a bit of a cushion in your savings account. And when you have plenty of energy and no other plans…and it isn’t an inconvenience in any way.”
No, He said that whenever we did this for the least of one of these, we did it for Him, and in doing so, built up treasures in Heaven. We don’t HAVE to do this stuff to call ourselves Christians. But I am currently in a place where I am wondering if, when, how, and where God wants me to take care of His beloved children.
“Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required.” Luke 12:48. I don’t know about you, but I definitely fall into this category. I am struggling with knowing if this is my own human tendency to try to “perform” well for God, or if it is truly Him speaking to me about how to love and serve.
So as I said, I am FREAKING OUT. Currently living in the reality of what third world missions can look like, I have never appreciated the comfort and security of home so much. Katie has somehow managed to live a life that demonstrates a level of faith and following that we are all capable of, but so few willing to live out. And really, when you think about it, why is this? Life is so short on this side of eternity.
I keep thinking…what if God wants me to do something that huge after the Race, something like what Katie is doing?!? And I pray and fight and cry…"but God, I want a husband one day, and no one would want to marry me if I did that! And I want mom, dad, Matt, and Emy within arms length as often as possible! And I want air conditioning when it is 110 degrees outside, and healthy food, and to be able to brush my teeth with the water that comes out of the faucet! And to have children of my own and to have a retirement account and health insurance and to take family vacations! I don’t want to have parasites and dirty water and poor medical care and unsafe living conditions and my family half a world away! I can do it for 11 months, but PLEASE not for life!" Obviously, there is nothing wrong with any of these items at all, unless I choose them over something He asks me to do.
Please pray that I will be able to focus on how God wants me to serve each day of this trip, and not to worry about what He may want me to do in the next season…and that when the time comes, I will hear HIS voice and have the courage to say yes. And if you are feeling complacent in your faith and wanting to be challenged in a real way, read Kisses for Katie. Just be warned: if you are like me at all, you might freak out.
A pic of some of the lovely kids we have worked with in impoverished rural communities:
