We are officially done with ministry on the World Race! Two days of packing and traveling, five days of celebrating at final debrief, then it's home sweet home.
At times this year has felt like the longest year of my life, and yet looking back it seems to have flown by. It has been sometimes crazy and beautiful, sometimes hard and messy. I have seen the world, I have met countless new friends and I have done basically every type of ministry you could think of. I have learned how to love the unlovely, to preach at a moment’s notice and to rely upon Christ alone for my strength.
America is so close I can practically taste it (a Philly cheesesteak, specifically), and I am predicting a hilarious and embarrassing mix of emotions spewing from our squad when we touch down at JFK.
I am ready to go home. I am ready for three weeks stuffed full of reunions and Christmas parties, snuggling in front of the fire in warm PJs and slippers and eating way too much dessert. I am ready to board yet another plane to China, just in time to ring in the New Year with Caleb. To celebrate the end of a pretty special year and the start of a new one that’s sure to be equally fabulous.
It’s exciting, but it’s also bittersweet. It’s bittersweet because I’m not sure I’m prepared to say goodbye to the friends that have become family. But mostly, it’s bittersweet because I don’t want to say goodbye to the person I’ve become this year.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you.
God gave me a new heart this year. He showed me more about who He is and about the woman He’s calling me to be. He revealed to me some of the sin in my life and He showed me how to walk more closely with Him. He gave me a desire to read His Word, to bury it deep in my heart and to live it out in my daily life.
Philippians 2:13
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.
My prayer lately is that God will not let me slip back into my old life, not let me lose my identity that’s found in Him alone, not let me get caught up in the things of this world. I have an irrational fear that in the midst of cell phones and fast food, 24/7 Internet and wheat beers that the confident woman of God I’ve become this year will somehow slip away. That the God I’ve come to know intimately will feel far away again.
Romans 12:2
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn how to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
God has been faithfully reassuring me that transformation is not a one-and-done type of deal. It is a lifelong process. He has done an incredible work in me this year, and that is something I should cling to. But the transformation that has happened in my life is not the end; it’s just the beginning. I know God has so much more in store for me. He doesn’t promise an easy road, free of worldly temptations, but He covers me with His grace. As long as I keep seeking Him, He will continue to grow me more and more, and reveal His perfect will for my life.
