People are constantly telling me lately how I have a gift of teaching people. If you weren’t aware, I went to college for Business, not teaching. But everyone from friends and family to complete strangers keep telling me this. And all I want to do with it is steward it to the best of my ability. I want to be faithful in the little things.
Well the other day, I had a crazy revelation. I have been home in Tucson for about 3 weeks and since being home I have done what I always do when I’ve been gone for a while. I looked through all my old things and cleaned out my closet of crap I realized I don’t need after being in 3rd world countries.
In the mass exodus of all my junk…I found something interesting. It was a paper I had written in college about leadership. College still feels like it was yesterday and I sometimes forget how much I have changed…how much I have grown.
Before I started reading my old paper I thought, ‘Man, I could write a great paper on leadership now…I didn’t know anything back then!’ So I began to read my work and was instantly bored. I felt like I was reading a textbook because every paragraph was mostly a direct quote from our book. As I read and wondered how my professor gave me a decent grade, the same thought kept turning in my head.
This paper has no voice. I had no voice!
You know when you read a paper, even if it is a business paper, there is a voice to it? You can get the feel of what the author is trying to say because of the voice that comes off of the paper. Now, I realize that this was just a small college paper but the revelation was profound to me.
I began to think back to who I was in college and what happened to me on the World Race. What changed me? Because I know that now if I were to write a paper on leadership, I wouldn’t be able to hide my voice even if I tried.
Something happened in the last two years. I haven’t had any internships. I haven’t had a ‘real’ job. I haven’t made a lot of money. I haven’t used hardly anything I learned in college. And yet, I have grown into a confident woman with a LOUD voice. I don’t know where along my journey it happened, or if it grew over time but the Lord has completely restored my voice and given me the freedom to confidently speak without fear. Fear of exposure, fear of failure, fear of what other people think…you name the fear, I probably had it. Obviously I still have a long way to go, but it’s crazy to think how far I’ve come.
Through this journey with the World Race it is like I have been released, empowered and free to sound like me! No longer do I have to sound like a textbook to ensure a good review or performance. No longer do I have to sound like someone else in order to fit in or feel accepted. Nope, not anymore. My voice has come alive.
I have finally found what my voice sounds like…
And college couldn’t teach me or show me. Instead, I found my voice on a journey of brokenness and abandonment…also known as The World Race.
