At training camp we had the privilege of sitting at the feet of Dr. Ron Walborn, Dean of the Alliance Theological Seminary at Nyack, and learn from his experience. He introduced me to the "bounded set" vs. the "centered set".
Let me explain. In a bounded set, image is everything. What a "real Christian" looks like varies in different churches. The things that make one a "real Christian" become a check-list of norms that try to change who we are before we are able to come to Christ. If we just change our behavior, we are "okay", even if our heart is not right. No negative emotions are allowed. When performance fails, guilt and rebellion follow and obedience flows out of religious duty and not out of love. The perspective "bounded" not only effects our behavior, but also affects our perspective of God.
This concept of "bounded set" really hit home for me. I have always been afraid of disappointing God and never really knew why I felt the way I did. I understood in my mind that God loves me so much that while we were still sinners and far from God, He sent His only son, Jesus, to die so that the chasm that sin created between us could be bridged. I also understood, growing up as a pastor's daughter, that my behavior in church reflected on my parents. It was our church policy for the congregation to vote to see if my dad would stay as pastor of the church or if they would request that he would leave. I then got the message loud and clear that I needed to be a “good little girl” in church or else my dad might be asked to leave as pastor. If I would only say the right things, and do the right things, then everyone would be pleased with me and in turn with my parents.
I never realized how growing up in that environment affected me. Because I was scared to disappoint my family (church family and immediate family), I just acted like the good little girl. This translated to my relationship with God. I would never verbalize that I thought that if I were to take the wrong step, then God would be mad at me or be disappointed. I just wanted to make Him happy. I was so scared to take a wrong step, that it was a lot easier to just not move at all. Staying in one place was more of a comfort to me because in my mind there is no way I could disappoint anyone if I wasn’t going anywhere.
I am learning how to combat lies with truth. I am realizing that God is not disappointed in me. I am His child and His loves me unconditionally. He actually wants to hear what I have to say and enjoys spending time with me. I make Him smile! 🙂
TRUTH
Zephaniah 3:17 :
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
