I have been learning lately the meaning of the word Christian. I have really been contemplating writing this
blog, so bare with me as I try to communicate my thoughts.
I
started reading the book Crazy Love. I heard so many good reviews about it
that I finally decided to read it for myself.
The
book has made me start to question my whole life and view of life.
Let
me rewind so maybe you can better understand how a simple book can do this.
Okay
so everyone knows I am going on the World Race, a crazy missions trip for 11
months…blah blah blah. I know you
have heard the spiel already, so let me get to the good part.
Thinking
about the World Race has changed me…..and I haven’t even left yet.
Here’s
the thing. I was born a Christian….
Ok
ok ok I wasn’t actually born a Christian, but for a lot of us that have been
Christians for a long time, that is what it feels like. We kinda almost don’t know where the
beginning of the “born again” era began.
So
after being a Christian for 21 years…I have begun to learn that maybe I am not
a Christian at all.
Okay
pretty crazy and outlandish thing to say since I am leaving on a missions trip
in a month.
——————————-
Let me explain.
The author of Crazy Love, Francis Chan, basically spends the entire book explaining
the vast love God has for us, and the pale comparison of love we have for Him
as supposedly Christ-followers.
He expresses that there is a God who looks down at us and
says,
“Before I formed you in the
womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a
prophet to the nations.”
God set us apart! Not only that but he appointed me as a
prophet to the nations. Woah.
God’s love is so great and unfathomable.
But the author later states that “Our love for Him always
comes out of His love for us. Do
you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives
you?”
The words penetrated my heart. Do I love God or just the blessings He gives me?
Let me give you an analogy that He used about the Christian
walk:
“Life is a never-ending downward escalator.
In order to grow, we have to turn around and sprint up the escalator, putting
up with perturbed looks from everyone else who is gradually moving
downward. It isn’t a choice of
most Christians to move downward, but it is nonetheless happening because
little in our lives propel us to Christ.”
Okay to be honest, my life does not feel like a downward
escalator that I have to sprint up.
So maybe I am doing something wrong.
For some reason I think most Americans from a young age are
taught that we are supposed to aspire for the American Dream. And
for some reason, Christian Americans most of the time aspire for the same
thing….At least I know that I have been.
Most of our lives we spend trying to be comfortable, feel
secure, have everything we need.
Hosea 13:6 says, “When I fed them, they were satisfied; when
they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me.”
So actually pursuing this American Dream leads me further
away from God. Woah.
Are you satisfied being “godly enough” to get yourself to heaven, or to look good in
comparison to others? Or can you
say with Paul that you “want
to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing
in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death? (Phil 3:10)
The American Dream is
completely opposite of the life that God calls us to.
“How many of us would really leave our families, our jobs,
our education, our friends, our connections, our familiar surroundings, and our
homes if Jesus asked us to? If He
just showed up and said “follow me“?”
I am not sure how
quickly I would jump at that opportunity.
The thing is most of my life I have been striving for a
comfortable life. Every week I
check off my Sunday morning attendance, try to read my Bible, try to pray.
That’s the thing. Most of us look at our relationship with
God as a chore.
‘When I look at my relationship with God as a chore, a
sacrifice, then I am getting the glory-not God. I keep saying, “Look what I
have sacrificed for God…” or “Listen to what I do for God. It’s hard,
exhausting really…”‘
We think our relationship with God is
strong when we give a mumbled three-minute prayer at the end of the day, when
we are already half asleep. Or two
crumpled-up dollar bills thrown as an afterthought into the church’s fund for
the poor. Fetch God!
“No wonder so few people want to hear from us
about what we ourselves feel is so boring, guilt-ridden chore!”
But-
“Jesus’ call to commitment is clear: He wants all or
nothing.”
However most of us are “willing to make changes in our lives
only if we think it affects our salvation. That’s why we ask questions like, can I divorce my wife and
still go to heaven? Am I a Christian if I have sex with my boyfriend?”
These questions demonstrate that our concern is more about going to heaven than loving God.
But how many times have I asked something similar to these
questions.
Okay so let me
recap a little. God, the creator
of the universe, loves me so much. However, I have failed him in comparison
because a lot of times I only love the things He gives me and not truly
Him. Also, living the life of a
Christian means suffering with Christ instead of floating downward on life’s
escalator. I have been approaching
my relationship with Christ as a chore.
Not only that but I have been pursuing life as to what I can get out of
it to make me feel better, rather than what I can give to give God glory. On top of that, Jesus wants all or
nothing. He says come and follow me.
Leave everything behind so that when you are in need I can provide.
Okay stop for a
second now and ask yourself this question,
What
am I doing right now that requires faith?
Before deciding to go on the World Race, I did not really
have an answer to that. And before
now, I never thought that that was a problem.
But Something is wrong when our life makes sense to unbelievers.
The author states that “Lukewarm people probably drink and
swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren’t very different
from your typical unbeliever.”
I think sometimes we assume that if we are nice, people will know that we are Christians and want
to know more about Jesus.
But God says, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold
nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are
lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
To be honest the
conviction has hit me deep. I have
always looked at my Christian walk to being pretty strong. But to think that God requires me to
give beyond my limit so that I can only rely on Him for my needs blows my
mind. To take the commands of
come, leave everything, and follow me, is a huge step. Or to tell God that I would delight in
suffering for His name, requires me to really contemplate my life.
What in my life will point
someone to Christ other than being another nice/good person?
