I started the last month laying down challenges and dares for God. I wanted to trust Him with the every day stuff, but I needed more proof that He would really do it. For some reason, the thousands of examples in Scripture were not enough. I had to see it for myself.
I made a list of things I wanted to see, people I wanted to meet, placed I wanted to go. But in reality, I just needed to see God show up and show off. Be careful what you ask for…
I asked to see a healing, but I had to go through the pain of a sprained ankle, before He could heal me.
I asked to see a miracle, but I had to be stuck – unable to cross the Guatemalan boarder, before He had the opportunity to show His power.
I asked to meet some English speaking people in order to have real, deep, meaningful conversations. He answered and broke my heart because of the friendships that came from these conversations. You rocked my world guys!
I asked for words to speak and ended up telling my story in the most unlikely places. I expected to preach from a pulpit and found myself sharing words of hope from a bar stool.
I asked to see lives changed and discovered that it was my life being changed.
Yes, I asked for all of these things, not fully aware of the consequences of my actions. Each request came at a price. Each request took time, patience, frustration and hardship and I wouldn’t change a thing. The process – the waiting – taught me as much about the character of my God, as the answers to my request did.
After many hours of processing the events to the last two weeks and about 20 pages in my journal, I was lead to a chapter that perfectly described my emotions. Enjoy!
Psalm 40 (The Message)
I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
They enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.
Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God, turn your backs on the world’s “sure thing” ignore what the world worships;
The world’s a huge stockpile of God-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one comes close to you!
I start talking about you, telling what I know and quickly run out of words.
Neither numbers nor words account for you.
Doing something for you, bringing something to you – that’s not what you’re after. Being religious, acting pious – that’s not what you’re asking for. You’ve opened my ears so I can listen.
So I answered, “I’m calling. I read in your letter what you wrote about me, and I’m coming to the party you’re throwing for me.”
That’s when God’s Word entered my life, became part of my very being.
I’ve preached you to the whole congregation, I’ve kept back nothing,
God- you know that.
I didn’t keep the news of your ways a secret, didn’t keep it to myself. I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.
I didn’t hold back pieces of love and truth for myself alone. I told it all, let the congregation know the whole story.
Now God, don’t hold out on me, don’t hold back your passion.
Your love and truth are all that keeps me together. When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out.
Soften up, God and intervene; hurry and get me some help.
So those who are trying to kidnap my soul will be embarrassed and lose face, so anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable will be heckled and disgraced, so those who pray for my ruin will be booed and jeered without mercy.
But all who are hunting for you – oh, let them sing and be happy.
Let those who know what you’re all about tell the world you’re great and not quitting.
And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing: make something of me.
You can do it; you’ve got what it takes – but God, don´t put it off.
