Cut the crap and I’ll just say it. I haven’t slowed down. Mentally and internally that is. I’ve gone through the motions of what slowing down is, chosen to do things which bring a quick sense of relief and release, but yet have I truly slowed down. The type of slowing down that allows you to be corrected. To be intrigued. To discover motives. To put words to actions. To think and pray things out before acting.
Living has turned more towards lackadaisical than towards meaningful. Finding the easy way out, the way of least internal disturbance. Maintaining a routine and mentality that can remain at peace, sheltered from all disruption, be it good or bad. I noticed this trend this morning while reading from a scrapbook of poems in a book I found at Good Will. (I love philosophy/quotes/poems) Books like this intrigue my mind, bring questions to the surface and make me stop and ponder. Usually I take a quote, be it talking about a house for example, and relate it to a life to see what message can be heard and taken to heart from it. Really delve into what knowledge and wisdom was behind the mind that wrote it. Yet I unfolded the cover of this book only to find I have read the first quarter of it, highlighted and all, yet never once stopped to prey into the many of quotes that caught my attention… This brought a touchy subject to mind. I haven’t stopped to allow myself to be spoken to in a way that the Lord has gifted my ears to hear. I simply have become a ‘reader’ Reading to read it, zap from it a quick feeling of connection and move on, judging it’s cover for less than a beat and forgetting it. If words, peoples life lessons they have written down ages ago could be abused and mistreated, this is what I have done. This is also what I have done to the Bible… The Living Word.
With that said, I no longer will read to read. No longer rush just to finish the book in hopes that doing this action will bring me somewhere but I will absorb. If that means I literally get two sentences in my proverbs or one verse into John when it provokes my conscience or rattles my rafters, I will stop and listen. Write on it, be taught something personal and learn.
Learning takes time. Which is why I ventured away from what I am setting out to do now. I got to the point of not reading my bible or writing thoughts about quotes I heard because it would mean the next ‘X’ and ‘unknown’ amount of my time will be consumed with what the Lord has to teach me. I boxed God in and moved along with life without thought to maintain my schedule. Ouch. Good slap though,
The quotes that stimulated me this morning and taught me what I needed to hear;
“Housework is something you do that nobody notices unless you don’t do it.”
“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out–it’s the grain of sand in your shoes.”
