Now I’m getting restless,
how I’m recognizing when I’m choosing to take pleasure in all these false treasures,
they fools gold,
instead of looking for them sundresses,
I should be looking for the Son I confess it,
even though my prides telling me don’t let the fans know,
I am not a superhuman though,
I am a man,
so the grace that I talk about on all my records,
I need it for myself, cause really I’m just a mess,
finding rest from the pressures of perfection,
as I stand up on this platform they expectin,
me to be a man without flaws, that’s false,
I am just another rapper that’s called to point ya’ll to the cross,
and that’s exactly where I’m headed,
I’m just another beggar pointin ya’ll to where the bread is,
maaan..
I’m not a superhuman
I am just a man,
No, I’m not a superhuman,
I am just a man,
….take me off the shelf, I don’t wanna be for retail,
I would rather be real, let you see the details,
when we fell, it feels like we fall so far cause they put us so high,
I am not a star,
I’m just a product of grace that’s still in the process,
and I don’t gotta be great, because my God is,
Recently my connection and respect for christian rap has increased. Maybe it’s the rawness of life artist rhyme about when they speak poems of their heart backed with beats that invoke one to stand up and find their own poem in life. Whatever it be, Andy Mineo’s song Superhuman sums up a message that is close to home. Allow me to explain,
“How do you do that? Why would you chose to live the way you do? What in the world would lead you to doing the World Race?” All these are questions I get regarding the mentality I have towards work and life, my purposes for living in my Tiny House and from what I base my decisions/reasons to traveling and staying so footloose. So often people respond with a, “oh, Ben I’m proud of you” (with a tone screaming of regret and MANY if only’s) others straight up say, “You go ahead, that’s not for me.” People may think of me higher with the decisions being made, you may be thinking it just from knowing I am doing the WR and reading this blog but the fact is, my life inside, in my soul, remains the same as yours. I still struggle with times of loneliness, go through entire days unable to let go of the stresses basic life pounds on us, get caught up in instant satisfactions and chasing false intuitions and am always taunted to running away from my problems, people and God, thinking I can guide my life better than He. I am no different… I’ve just decided to take the time and chance presented to me.
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Ecclesiastes 9:11
You want to know where my intuition came from regarding building my Tiny House, changing my lifestyle 180 degrees? I was with an amazing friend now, who at the moment was an angel in regards to how the Lord crossed our paths, we were in some random library in Ohio, and she pulled up a link to the Tumbleweed Tiny House webpage. She showed me a picture of these gorgeous miniature houses built on trailers in order for those residing in them to live the life of purpose they desired… No opening of the Heavens, no big sign, but just a picture and a moment, MUCH like I share with EVERYONE who I discuss my Tiny House with. What did I do that others trend to not? Gave it the time it deserved, thought on it, researched it to feel out this new perspective in life. Then, I took a chance! It didn’t happen at first (which we oh so often get discouraged and misdirected from) but every decision I made post that time was made from a deeper meaning, for a deeper purpose. From those small, daily and often unnoticed decisions wouldn’t you know it, a year and half later I am purchasing the trailer to start constructing my house.
The same goes for going out of the country, tossing aside my bodily comforts and acting outwardly different. I wasn’t always this way. Shoot my initial college career was guided by which school would recruit me to be their field goal kicker! My days were filled with perfecting my skill, attempting to leave my impression in whatever way I could and of course, tinkering and polishing/re-polishing my very stylish 2001 Mustang Bullet. My image and life was made, but then circumstances gave me a minute to think, and think I did. It was close to impossible to ignored the weight of the image I already had and struggle it would be to change that, yet the personal feeling for change that needed to occur was stronger. With loving and understanding parents I took it and life changed. The next four years were filled with more friendships, opportunities, blessings, direction and growth than I have ever experienced in my life. It was truly a pivotal moment in my life, and it came not from anything more drastic than a thought, time, chance, and Faith through the changing circumstances. Now, I have a full time job in a solid career, with annual income, a house, extracurricular activities and groups, insurance, savings accounts, and even though I live in just 160Sqft, STUFF!! I know what it feels like to get in the routine and comfort these things lock you into. Though only in it a year so far, this comfort started to invade my personal passion and dreams in life, placing mentalities in my head I never would have considered before when I had none of these. The sayings of Agur son of Jakeh were spot on when he wrote Proverbs 30:8-9, Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Which brings us to my current situation. Again just as before. The Lord has blessed me with Time to consider my options just as He gives EVERYONE who is willing to stop and listen. Through this time I am able to reorient my life to the three words that are always trending in my vocabulary; Purpose, Change and Faith. Then, with any circumstance in life, the Lord gave me a Chance to change.
Be it a chance at salvation, a chance at forgiveness, reconciliation, adventure, love, joy, friendship, new perspective, FUN, I have learned to never brush over them because be they big or small, it’s the little nails in the studs and wires in the concrete that hold a structure together. Who’s to say daily occurrences and opportunities aren’t nails meant to build you up??
