With 2011 now firmly tucked away in some small corner of God’s heavenly annals, my focus has now shifted to this New Year and the promise it holds for glory. Last year, in my New Year’s Resolution Blog, (Become a (Christian) Pirate), I asserted that my main resolution was basically to cultivate a lasting mindset of radical rebellion (hence the “pirate”) against all things worldly. I can say, with all due honesty, that I feel as if I achieved that goal. I know that it’s almost a part of our culture—and a point of fellowship—to discuss, with groans and chuckles, the short-lived nature of our New Year’s Resolutions, as if quitting our pursuits after a week is our entry ticket into the desirable club of “those who don’t take life too seriously”—as if that is possible. My sinful flesh longs to be in that club, from time to time, but, as I do not want to destroy the testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness, I can happily say that I feel as if I thoroughly achieved my 2011 New Year’s Resolution— through God’s power.
The December 31st, 2011 Ben Friedman is a completely different person than the January 1st, 2011 Ben Friedman, and I am excited to build upon that growth for the glory of God. As I understand, more and more, my identity as a man of God, I am more excited than ever to start a full-fledged war on the powers of darkness (Ephesians 6:12) in 2011. Don’t quote me out of context on this one, but I am bloodthirsty.
Though 2012 will be a bit of a weird year, in that five and a half months of it will be spent overseas, three will be spent in New Jersey, and four will be spent in Alabama, I still believe that there are goals that can be made that will transcend my physical circumstances, even if the manifestations of these goals and the metrics by which I measure their success will vary with my location.
So, in keeping with the bloodthirsty, “warrior spirit” that God has placed inside of me, here is my five-pronged “plan of attack” for 2012:
1.) Radical Pursuit – “Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (Psalm 105:4). In many ways, as Christians, we are passive subjects being acted upon by an active God. None of us can even come to God in the first place unless he first acts upon us and draws us in (John 6:44)! God took the initiative in creation (Genesis 1) and God took the initiative in salvation (“for by grace you have been saved” Ephesians 2:8-9).
In just as many ways as God acts upon us, however, we are called to act ourselves, and to act decisively. “Choose for yourselves today the one you will worship…” (Joshua 24:15). “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness.” (Hebrews 12:14). In the same way that we actively pursue the people whom we love on earth, so I want to actively pursue the God of the universe. I know that this sounds obvious, expected, and almost cliché, but when I look at my own spiritual life and the trappings of “Christian culture”, I often notice a lack of active, aggressive pursuit.
Though 2011 definitely had its victories in the area of pursuit (see my old blog, “Noah and The iPod”), I still spent a great deal of my time in spiritual “defense mode”. I spent too much time hoping I wouldn’t lust when sexual commercials flashed across the television screen and spent too little time walking away from the television in the first place. I spent too much time hoping that I would forgive those who had hurt me, should they pop up in my memory, and spent too little time digging my knees into the carpet in prayer, petitioning God for the very supernatural power to forgive that I would need to make forgiveness a reality.
This year, I want to track down God at breakneck speed. At training camp for the World Race, I remember hearing something that I knew I’d never forget. One of the counselors, in a beautiful description of the mysterious interplay between our in-the-sky ideals and our on-the-ground actions, encouraged us to “make stone cold decisions with a red hot heart.”
I am ready to make (and continue making—lest I rob the Lord of the credit he is due for the sanctification he’s already wrought in me) stone cold decisions to pursue God. The red hot heart will be manifest and the stone cold decisions will be made, I hope, in two major areas: spirit and truth. I intend to seek God in prayer, that he may graciously open my eyes to more of the supernatural ways in which he works, via the Holy Spirit inside of me, in the here and now. I also intend to continue seeking God through his eternally-relevant word. “The words of the Lord are pure, like silver refined in an earthen furnace, purified seven times” (Psalm 12:6).
I have noticed that most of the spiritual plateaus in my own two short years as a Christian have come not from a wrong method or pursuit nor from a broken promise of God—for God is faithful, and all who seek will find (Luke 11:10)—but rather from a lack of pursuit and a lack of initiative altogether. This should not be surprising. An entire generation of Israelites died in the wilderness, simply because they failed to have courage and take the initiative to conquer the land that God had already guaranteed them! (Numbers 13-14).
2.) Radical Stewardship – “The whole earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.” (Psalm 24:1). I have noticed, in my own life, that my own stewardship of what God has entrusted me with—money, emotions, and most, importantly, time—is one of the biggest determinants of my impact on the world.
One of the aspects of humble submission to the word of God (granted we take every verse in context, of course), is that it enables us to read the Bible as literal. As “close-minded”, or “out-of-touch” as it may sound, I submit that anything other than a literal reading of the Bible is a complete waste of time and a tragic waste of life. The Bible becomes purposeless if we grant our fallen flesh the luxury of making metaphorical those passages which make us uncomfortable—never mind the fact that this same method of interpretation, when applied to secular classics, would be counted as atrocious scholarship. All this goes to say that I will spend my time and money very differently if they are literally owned by another, as opposed to metaphorically owned by another.
My second goal for 2012 is to engage in radical stewardship of my resources for the sake of God’s purpose—the advancement of the Gospel. When I think ahead to my next year of college, my biggest fear for the 2012 school year is not that I will be incapable of leading souls to Christ nor that God has not already prepared his harvest. My biggest fear lies in the simple fact that there are only 365 days in a year and only 24 hours in a day. I pray that I do not squander my time on useless activities. In this way, I hope to “streamline” my faith for the glory of God. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that when I stand before the throne of God, all the episodes of Seinfeld I missed will be far removed from my mind and will appear, when contrasted with the visible manifestation of God’s triune wonder, as worthless garbage. “Because of Him, I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them as garbage, so that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.” (Philippians 3:8-9).
3.) Synchronicity of Emotions – “I have found in David, the son of Jesse, a man after my heart…” (Acts 13:22). Nobody is more committed to God’s causes—the display of His glory through the rescuing of hell-bound souls and the selfless acts of compassion that work toward that same end—than God himself is. I will never be as passionate about God’s name as God himself is, because God is unwaveringly committed to his own glory and because I, as a human being, formed from the dust (Psalm 103:14) and living in the spiritually-toxic biosphere we call the “fallen world” (Romans 5:12), have a peanut-brain with a bent towards finding enjoyment in worthless and tawdry activities.
Nevertheless, I still do feel as if there is room for me to consciously and actively close the gap between the deep emotions of God’s heart and the fleeting emotions of my own heart. In my own life, it is those things (and people) for which and for whom I feel the most emotion that I commit myself most to. I am more-than-capable of losing sleep over an issue, as I’ve done it many times before! I’ve lost sleep many times over impending academic tests or track races and I’ve even stayed up all night thinking about girls! Why, then, can I not have heavenly thoughts— despair over the slander of God’s name and jubilation over his current saving works—be what keeps me up at night? I desire to pace back and forth, in my room, as I worriedly chant, only half under my breath, “there is yet a place where your word is not proclaimed, there is yet a place where your glory is not known, there is yet a place where your word is not proclaimed, there is yet a place where your glory is not known, there is yet a place…”
These emotions are something that need to be asked for on a daily basis. I am under no illusions that my heart will be transformed and molded to look like God’s heart overnight. I will need to actively pursue the emotions of God’s heart—through prayer—but the process itself will be a heart transplant where I am the passive patient and God is the active surgeon. Oh, that I may willingly lay on the operating table—a task that, in and of itself requires sacrifice. As spiritual entrails are bound to stain my overly cultivated outward appearance while on the operating table—for surgery is not neat—it only follows that there is no room for crisp Polos after the first incision is made. From that point on out, spiritual “scrubs”, so to speak, are the garments of choice. A well-understood facet of the surgeon-patient relationship is that the surgeon makes the rules.
If I ever want to be a successful pastor—and a successful World Racer—I must legitimately weep over souls I know are perishing. This year, I will pursue the anguish of God’s own heart. “All true joy is borne out of a baptism of anguish.” – David Wilkerson.
4.) A Widening Gap – “Don’t you know that when you eat (the fruit), your eyes will be opened
and you will be like god?” (Genesis 3:5). We are like God insofar as when God gazes upon his saints, he sees the righteousness of his own son (2 Corinthians 5:21), and insofar as our pursuit of holiness is, quite literally, the pursuit of God-likeness. The difference between us and God, however, is vast—and good. Even the second coming of Christ or our own inauguration, after death, into the kingdom of everlasting worship will not change the fact that he is the Creator and we are the creation.
How much sin and idolatry is committed by our own sinful desire to “play God”? Even if we would never attest to this outright, our spiritual potency is directly related to the way we respond to the difference between us and God—superficially, with lip-service, or worshipfully, with deep awe and respect. This year, I hope to widen the gap between God and myself by actively cultivating a high view of God and a low view of myself.
Will I have a high view of God or a low view of God? A high view of God says that his word is to be submitted to, even when it makes me uncomfortable. A low view of God says that God’s word was simply a product of its times, that there is no universal morality, and that the 21st century is the standard by which we should measure the Bible. A low view of God says that heaven and hell are not real—or urgent—and a high view of God says they that are both real and urgent. A low view of God says that sin is funny and a high view of God says sin is suicidal. A low view of God says, “If you can dream it, you can do it” and a high view of God says, “I cannot do anything—even inhale or exhale—without God’s gracious power.” A low view of God says, “There are many ways to the top of the mountain” and a high view of God says “Our muscles are not sufficient to take even a step up the mountain; therefore God must come down—in Christ—or I am utterly hopeless.” A low view of God says, “yes, but…” and a high view of God says “Amen.”
Actively cultivating a high view of God will involve purging more than it will involve creating.
God is already great, because he is God. To believe that we have to make him great would be to assert that God’s eternal greatness could be improved and served by human hands, as if he somehow needed us. Rather, I will have to actively purge that which is cheap and useless for my faith, so that I do not promote my own genetically sinful low view of God.
“Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” – 1 Corinthians 10:23. Bruce Almighty is permissible (and kind of funny, too), but does it work to exalt the glory of God or does it work to promote my already-low view of God? Spending hours in front of SportsCenter (when I get home) is more than permissible, but it’s a useless waste of time. I want to shift my focus from “what is inherently sinful and what is morally neutral?” to “what will water down my faith and what will make it sharper?”
“The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night.” – John Piper.
Actively cultivating a high view of God is only half of the picture, however. The other half involves actively cultivating a low view of myself. This does not mean, by any means, that I view myself as worthless. It means that I view myself as powerless—without God. At the beginning of the World Race, I would always write the next day’s heading in my journal a day early as a way to get “a step ahead”. I stopped doing that, however, because to do so would be to presume upon God that my tomorrow is guaranteed. Despite the fact that personal experience and mathematical probability tell me that there is indeed a very strong chance that I will wake up in the morning, to assume so would only foster an attitude of deservingness, whereas the Gospel tells me that I am wholly underserving of God (Romans 5:8).
Contrary to the colorful posters in my fourth-grade classroom, I do not have unlimited potential. I cannot do anything I set my mind to. I will never run a 33-second mile, nor will any human. My lack of omnipotence, my lack of omniscience, and my lack of moral perfection seriously inhibit my ability to “do anything I set my mind to.” Somewhere in Southeast Asia, a woman just gave birth and I was completely unaware. When contrasted with God’s unlimited potential—and I submit that, for the Christian, God is the only acceptable point of comparison—I realize that potential is very, very limited.
Rather than groaning over this, however, I desire to actively rejoice in it. I desire for my prayers, in 2012, to include times of verbally admitting and highlighting all the areas where I am insufficient. Before our last evangelism session as a team (and this will hopefully become a habit), we literally admitted all the areas where we were insufficient for the task at hand. “We do not know these people’s stories, but you do. We do not have the courage God, so we will need that, too. We do not know Rwandese. We do not even know how to get to the location of our evangelism!”
If my view of God is constantly getting higher, and my view of myself is constantly getting lower, then it only follows that the gap between God and me will only be increasing. The good news, however, is that Jesus Christ always spans the entirety of that gap. The bigger the gap is, the bigger the Jesus is. The bigger the Jesus is, the greater the joy is.
5.) An Understanding of Manhood – “Then the officers shall add, "Is any man afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his brothers will not become disheartened too."(Deuteronomy 20:8). Lastly, I want to pursue a deeper understanding of my own manhood in 2012. What does it mean to lead women? What does it mean to protect women? What does it mean to affirm women?
In 2011, I made great strides in understanding Biblical manhood, but there is still great room for improvement, as my own pursuit of manhood was passive and, in many-ways, faint-hearted. I would only hope that I would respond in a godly manner when situations that tested my manhood arose, rather than actively petitioning God for the strength and discernment I would need to do so when that moment came.
Manhood is not a popular topic in today’s culture, but I submit that the culture of 21st century-America is not a good measuring stick. The pursuit of manhood will require me to “swim upstream”, culturally. Giving a woman the better seat on the already-uncomfortable bus-ride may not be fun, but it is right. Choosing to skip out on the American-Pie movie might make me “lame”, but it will help me to store up and safeguard intimacy for my future wife.
We can save the gender discussion for a different time and place. I believe that manhood and its uniqueness is a gift from God and is a gift worthy of pursuing in 2012.
In the end, I do not think that these five goals will be too difficult to achieve, not too difficult to remember! The goals are all so tightly connected, that my failure or success in one area will almost guarantee my failure or success in the other four. When my heart looks like God’s heart, I will have a high view of God. When I actively pursue God, I will understand my own manhood better. When I steward my time and resources radically, I will have more time to pursue the other four goals and when I have a high view of God, I will want to steward my time and resources radically.
In the end, it will only be by God’s gracious power that I can accomplish any of these New Year’s Resolutions. I thank you all for your continued support and encouragement and I am looking forward to sharing 2012 with you, be it in Africa, Southeast Asia, New Jersey, or Alabama, for the glory of our great God!
