I wrote this post when I was flying back home on Sunday. I thought about not sharing it, about re-writing it. But I think what I wrote says everything that needs to be said in a real way.
So, I am literally on the plane home right now.
And I’m sad. I really am. My heart is hurting that I had to say goodbye to the people my heart is so fond of.
More than that, though, I am beyond thankful for what the Lord is accomplishing in my heart through this trip.
I left home not really knowing just how much I missed Raleigh. And by Raleigh I am referring more to the people there than the city itself. I knew I was tired. I knew that I did miss the Body of believers there. And I knew that I missed doing life with a bunch of people.
It was when I got there that I discovered just how much I missed everyone. My heart probably skipped a few beats because of the joy that was flooding my soul.
Joy. Pure joy at being reunited with them.
My week in Raleigh was well spent. It went by far too quickly. But, the Lord was faithful to bless my time with people. We didn’t do anything fancy. Mostly, we just did life together again. We would talk and have conversations, yes. But we would also just sit in silence. We would read. We would watch tv shows. We would just be.
And it was beautiful.
I found rest, and I was able to actually relax for what felt like the first time in months.
Seriously, there wasn’t anything glamorous about my week.
But it was extraordinary. It was beautiful to see the Body at Imago Dei Church continue to grow and thrive. It was beautiful to gather with my brothers and sisters there and worship our Savior together.
As I was finishing my packing this afternoon to come home, my soul was overwhelmed yet again with a sadness of leaving. I remember my last night at Growth Group back in June 2013 when I cried all the way home. I remember how hard it was to drive away that next morning, knowing that I was leaving pieces of myself behind, because I had given myself fully to these brothers and sisters. And I couldn’t help but think that it was happening all over again. I was only there a week. But, in that week, my love for them deepened. And it was harder to leave this time. I sat in my bedroom at my friend’s house and cried, knowing that I was leaving just a little bit more of myself behind this time, and also knowing that I would miss them even more than before. Because just like I’m leaving a little more of myself behind, I’m also taking a little bit of them with me.
You see, these people encouraged me and gave me strength. They loved me with Christ’s love. They poured out grace on me. They lavished me with goodness and joy. They poured themselves out over me that I might be filled with Christ.
They are a beautiful people. And I love them dearly.
So, as I’m flying home, I’m thinking of all the ways the Lord has inspired me to look at my mission field with fresh eyes. How can I go back and serve with the love and boldness I saw displayed back in Raleigh? How can I be the Church to those who need His love, who need His gospel?
The answers? I don’t really have many of those. I have some ideas. But we’re going to take things one day at a time. And I’m going to see where the Lord might lead.
As for my trip to Raleigh. I am so grateful the Lord gave me the opportunity to go. He knew long before I ever did that I would need to be encouraged and refilled. He knew that I would need to be lavished in love by my brothers and sisters. I am so thankful I was able to go. So. So. Thankful.
