So I was doing okay for the most part yesterday. My morning and early afternoon had been lovely–you know, just hanging out with family and friends. The Lord had been working in my heart that morning about serving and loving people.
Matthew 20:28
“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
That verse stood out to me as I was reading and spending time with the Lord. It was then the Lord started pointing out the pride that is in me. The “pride of serving,” as I like to call it. I love serving in the background. I love doing things for other people. But I can be so prideful about it. Honestly, sometimes I serve just so that people will see me, so that I will be noticed. And then I can check it off of my list.
“Oh did I serve God today? Um, yeah, I sure did! Now on to something that I want to do.”
Pride. Sin.
I begged the Lord to change my heart and help me to serve Him humbly.
Saturday afternoon and evening I was confronted with my sin again and again. The Lord put me in situations that I was able to see my need for my Savior.
Y’all, my heart is still so impure. I am still in need of the Healer to come and save me, to restore me, and to make me clean.
I woke up feeling the same way. I am not worthy to serve this great God.
I’m not.
I have been confronted with the sin that is still at work in the members of my body.
I cry out with Paul, “Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
And this is where the gospel steps in.
Romans 7:25
“Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
Yes, there is still sin at work in me. But the Holy Spirit is working it out of me. He changes my affections every day. He draws me deeper into the work of Christ! God will not allow this sin, this pride of mine to conquer me. He has victory. He has defeated death and sin.
Praise the Lord that He is at work in me!
So on these days when I am confronted severely by my sin in a real way, the Lord is faithful to remind me of His great gospel of grace. He reminds me to trust Him and lean into His salvation.
It’s hard to be confronted. But I am thankful that the Lord deals with me with such grace. He doesn’t have to keep working in my heart, but by His grace and love He humbles me and helps me confess my sin, so that He can heal me.
