For almost 6 years now, my dream and vision has been to work
with the orphans in Ahero, Kenya, helping to instill hope, a future, and a
sense of worth in each of their lives. I felt like I was made to live overseas
and do work for the Kingdom. I also knew God was calling me to leave the
comforts of America behind to pursue a life of ministry. It has been a long
road, through many ups and downs that several of you were present for. I left
on the World Race in January of 2011, asking the Lord to confirm my plans for
the future; whether I would be serving in Kenya or in some other country in the
world. (If only it were that easy… I am learning more and more each day). I
guess you could say I’m a “need to know” type of person. You tell me what I
need, and I’ll make it happen. Am I going to Kenya, or not? Do I need to change
direction, or am I still good? Ok, great. WELL, the Lord did confirm Kenya for
me while on the race, and after spending a few months waiting and debating, I
felt the Lord telling me to stop doubting His voice and hold tight to what He
was speaking. He was speaking orphans in Kenya, so I began to run towards that
with full force. It was amazing; doors were opening and paths were being made
straight. But this was in month 2. The Lord knew that I needed my “to do” early
so He could do His real work in the next 9 months… I learned so much during my
time on the field, and grew in spiritual maturity. The Lord became so real to
me, and my relationship with Him became the single most important thing in my
life. (Like it is meant to be, right?)
When I finished the World Race, I came home and began taking
practical steps towards full time ministry in Kenya. I mean, that’s what the Lord
said so I was going to make it happen. I guess I didn’t realize just how early “life”
can creep back in on you and take over. On the race, it was so easy to free
fall into the Lord and let go of cares and worries in the world. But back at
home, everything around tells you to take control of your situation and get
things done. All my plans were coming
together very well. I had to make sacrifices, but I kept pursuing full time
ministry, no matter the cost. It was becoming more about my detailed plans, but ultimately about the Lord’s goal.
During a conference called Searchlight, put on by AIM (the
organization over World Race), the Lord began speaking to me again regarding my
future. Through a few different speakers at the conference, the Lord asked me
to release control of my detailed plans. He asked me to step into a position of
total and complete trust and reliance on Him. He asked me to lay down all the
plans I had been making, and allow Him to make a few. And maybe they don’t make
sense, but at the end of the day, do we ever really understand the thoughts of
the Lord?
So I laid it all down at the feet of the Lord and asked
forgiveness for my constant need to take control of situations. I made a
commitment to the Lord that my life would always and only be in pursuit of His
heart, no matter where or what I was doing. And that no matter how crazy it may
seem, I would always be obedient to where He leads. And the Lord began opening my
eyes to a much bigger passion and purpose for my life. I have always loved
working with children, and after being in Kenya several years ago, I knew my
heart was made to love orphans. But the Lord began to expand my heart beyond
the orphans of Ahero. He began to expand my heart beyond Kenya, and even beyond
Africa. He broadened my location but narrowed my passion: to disciple and equip
orphans to be the change in their communities and even around the world; to
break the cycle of generation after generation of orphans stuck in garbage
dumps and dark alleys, with no value or purpose to their life; and for me
personally to become an orphan in every sense of the word, and belong always
and only to my Daddy in Heaven.
I have learned enough to know that I am nothing without the
Lord. And I intend to spend the rest of my life seeking after Him and His heart
for the people around this world. Whether that is in Kenya, some deserted
island that no one has ever heard of, or right here in Dublin, Georgia; I know
He will always be in the middle of everything I do. As for this next season, I
will be seeking Him in Peru. And I would love for you to join in this beautiful
journey with me, chasing after His heart.
“Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory. Take my life and let it be Yours.”
