Total access. It’s a theme that has come up consistently in my life over the last year. Americans are used to living in a compartmentalized reality. For some it just makes life easier, for some it is a means to survival, and for all it is a way to deal with one thing/person/emotion while shutting everything else out.
How does this compartmentalization carry over to our relationship with Jesus? For me, I like to “allow” Jesus in to the parts of me that I’m ok with. I’ll talk to Him about church, loving people, school, etc. I’ll lift up friends and family in prayer. I’ll even vent to Him when I’m feeling frustrated about something. However, He has shown me that He wants more.
Jesus wants into those areas of my life that are more difficult. He wants to be a part of my emotional struggles. He wants to help me be more healthy physically. He wants access to my wounds and the deepest areas of my life.
Perhaps the reason that it can be so difficult to give Him this access sometimes is because I don’t always like to think about these hard areas of my life. I compartmentalize them in my mind so they don’t dominate my thoughts, and I don’t often choose to stop to think about them with Jesus either.
Unfortunately, it’s backwards to think that way. “If I don’t think about it, then I don’t have to really deal with it, and I don’t have to take the risk of talking to Jesus about it.” The reason Jesus wants more access from us is so that He can give us more. He wants to release us from the difficult lies that hold us back. He wants to heal our wounds in a way that only He can. He wants to reveal beautiful truths about ourselves to us that we can use to grow.
Every time I have chosen to let Jesus in He has shown up. He tends my wounds, uncovers the lies, and protects me from deception when I choose to rest in Him. I don’t have to put on a show for Jesus. He already knows anyways. I don’t have to change everything about my life so that He will accept me. He accepts me just the way that I am. Nothing I can do will make Jesus love me any more than He already does, but I can keep myself from experiencing that love by closing Him out.
It is time to stop presenting Jesus only with the life that we are proud of and start inviting Him in to every part of our lives. There is no condemnation in Christ. He desires intimacy with us, and intimacy begins with vulnerability.
Who better to let in than the One who already knows?
