The whole night I was tossing and turning because it felt like someone was stabbing my stomach. I’m not sick necessarily, at least, I don’t think so. I was just praying I didn’t get some kind of parasite.
When I woke up way earlier than I usually do, I was fine.
It was one of those perfect morning moments: I got up, grabbed my bible and notebook and strolled to the living room.
I was by myself. The windows were already open with an exceptionally cool breeze coming through. The rainy season is just beginning here in Tanzania and the sky was grey around the mountain tops that are in our own front yard.
I made myself some coffee and sat down in the big chair in the corner and just started to breathe. I was tired.
I was tired of just getting through the month. I was tired of just the daily schedule.
See, on the Race, it becomes easy to just try and get through the Race. It’s so easy to fall into that trap especially since our ministry has been the exact same for the past 3 months.
My thoughts began to be: “If I can just get my team through the day and everything goes smoothly, than that’s good”.
I’m tired of things going “smoothly”. I’m tired of things just being “good”.
My heart wants more. So, I started to ask the Lord “Why did You wake me up today?”
I don’t mean like He’s some alarm clock. I mean, why did He give me life today? Why wasn’t my life taken last night? Or the night before?
After breakfast, I had the team come together and pray about why we were awoken today.
I want my eyes opened even more. I want our eyes opened even more.
I want my expectations of what’s going to happen every day to be doubled. See I believe I follow a God who wants more for my life than what I can even imagine.
I want to stop asking for what I can fathom and ask for the unfathomable.
If I keep asking for only things that I can imagine happening, I’d be experiencing things a human mind can come up with, not an all-powerful, all-mighty God came up with…
My heart screams this for people back home. There’s more to life than just a college degree, a job and a family. Now, if you have any or all of that, those are blessings but not what life is all about. It’s about what God can do with what He has already given you and what He’s about to give you. When do we ever pray “Lord, you woke my family and I up today, so do with us what we can’t even imagine!”
Very few pray that prayer. Very few pray that because it holds so much uncertainty in it.
My soul craves the unknown because what the unknown brings me is more of Him. It makes me depend so much more on His strength than my own. The unknown brings me to the One Thing my soul wants to know.
It’s time we all just wake up. Wake up, pray and move.
