t’s a beautiful, cool night in the Rift Valley with barely any electricity in the whole village. The stars are big & bright; they seem so close that maybe if I reach up a little bit I could touch them.
Sadly, I wasn’t completely focused on the amazing sky above me.
It’s midnight and I’m unable to stand up straight. I’m bent over wondering how I’m still throwing up since I haven’t eaten in 2 days.
The day before, if I moved too much I thought I might pass out and even walking was proven difficult. I went to the hospital and the doctor didn’t even know what I had but he gave me a malaria dosage. I was told I had to come back to the hospital in a few days.
So here I was, unable to do anything and a voice started speaking to me:
“Aren’t you mad? Here you are sacrificing for Him yet He has allowed you to get sick like this?”
“Your team thinks you’re weak… a “strong” team leader you are…”
“If you were home right now, imagine all the comforts you would have!…foolish girl.”
I was unable to stop throwing up. There was no way there was anything left to come out so I had to start praying for it to all stop. When I was able to stand up straight for the first time in a while, I looked up and saw the sky.
“Is that seriously it? That’s the best you could do?!” was all that I could think to say to the voice speaking to me.
There was no response.
I believe I even laughed a little. Now, this might have been because I could have been going slightly mental; I was weak, I could barely stand and I was in the middle of nowhere with no physical comforts to look forward to for quite a while OR it was because the thought that the enemy was attempting to use this sickness to try and take me a few steps backwards was such a joke at this point.
I went into my tent and tried to get to some sleep.
I would wake up with huge cramps in my stomach all throughout the night. Sometimes I’d wake up freezing, other times I’d wake up sweating…
I’m right here.
‘Good, cause this is rough’
I’m right here.
‘Ever since I’ve stepped up into leadership, I’ve been sick… it’s not always going to be like this, right?’
I’m right here.
‘I know.’
Ask me something.
‘Why is this all happening?’
Remember Job?
‘…yeah…’
The Enemy learned about his character and now he is learning about yours.
I woke up pretty weak but not nearly as weak. I was able to eat a piece of bread.
That night I was able to sleep through the entire night and the next day eat multiple pieces of bread plus fruit; my strength was coming back.
Within a few days I wanted to work out and I never had to go back to the hospital.
I wrote this for multiple of reasons but one was to let you all know that Kenya was probably one of the hardest months for my team and I. The whole team had gotten sick at some point and all with different things. This month was by far one of the most exhausting and frustrating but even in all of that, there was a ton of fruit from it.
Multiple people were saved. A whole Kenyan church body realized the importance of evangelism; no longer did they believe the people had to come to them but they realized there are desperate people outside of the church walls that needed what they could bring them. Even the Reverend of the church told me that even after we leave, he is starting programs where the church body goes out to the people and to the villages that have never even heard the Gospel before.
When my team and I realized that we were trying to be stopped, that fueled the fire.
One of the girls on my team said, “When Satan attacks, we know we are doing something right”.
I sit here, typing this completely exhausted and drained.
But I feel like you need to know not to give up. Ever.
Are you being attacked? Are you weak? Well, I hope you know we serve a God that saw our enemy fall (Luke 10). Even if you are bent over puking your guts out, know that you serve a God that will lift your head up and tell you that He is right there with you.
