The months before camp I was really struggling with God and his will for my life. I even got to a point where I became angry with the Lord and that made me even more angry at myself. How could I be angry with God when it's my fault, I let myself become disconnected with his spirit. I just couldn't handle the fact that God had called me on this journey and yet nothing was happening with it. I had a little break through with God before camp and I felt confident on his call for my life. But as I entered camp I carried so much baggage and I couldn't forgive myself for being disconnected with God. For years many saw me as a "good Christian" girl but I had hidden secrets and past that not one person knew about. Through out the years I built walls up not letting people in because I didn't want them to see the bad inside my heart. I truly felt unworthy of his gifts. How could he have called me on this journey if I was so ugly inside?
As the bus entered Toccoa Falls College I thought what the heck am I doing here, I don't deserve to be here. But man, my God is a good Good. Everyday for the first couple of days God told me that I was PURE at heart that he thought I was BEAUTIFUL inside and out, that he knew my heart and my LOVE for him. That when he called me as a child it was NOT a mistake! It's crazy because those words were spoken to me on a daily basis and everyday my walls began to shatter and freedom began to flow through.
Thursday Night, a night I will never forget! On Thursday I realized that God had been romancing me all week and for the first time in long time I realized that I had FALLEN IN LOVE again with my one true savior. God never gave up on my heart, he never saw me as broken or unworthy. For the first time in my life I was able to experience complete freedom. I wanted to jump and shout to the world that me, Rebecca Arce, was in love!!!!
