2013 was the first time I ever heard “Swaziland” from a friend I met at a Cru women’s event. The name sounded made-up, but as Kirsten and I talked for two hours after the event and she described the country and experiences working with women through the organization Hosea’s Heart, I prayed someday I would get to visit Swaziland too.
Someday came quick as I went on my first ambassador trip in 2014 and made a second personal trip in 2015. I fell in love with the Hosea’s Heart home that provides trafficked girls or girls at risk for prostitution opportunities to know God deeply and to have an education. I also fell in love with the funny and lively girls in the home and hated both times I had to say goodbye to them.
When I applied to the World Race, I made sure that my route would include Swaziland so I could see Mary-Kate, the founder of Hosea’s Heart, and the girls again. Although I was blessed to be placed back in Manzini, my experiences on this trip to Swaziland are much different than my last two trips.
Instead of working with women, my friend Jenna and I go to a care point every morning to help teach pre-school. These wild four and five year olds are hard to keep up with, but always make us feel loved with five minutes of goodbye hugs at the end of school.
Jenna and I care deeply about the kiddos we see every day, but something within me struggles to be genuinely excited to go to ministry. I want to want to go to ministry. I want to wake up and have a list of “I can’t wait for…”, but I honestly don’t have that this month.
When I prayed and talked to the Lord about how hard being in Swaziland is for me, I was reminded that we aren’t called to serve just based on feelings. No, I don’t always feel connected to our contacts or our ministry set-up, but we were placed at our care point for a reason.
In a moment of frustration at the care point, the Lord asked me to look around at the kiddos and to do everything I can to make them feel worth. Letting these funny kiddos braid our hair with Dorito covered fingers, sit on our laps to escape the cold rain, and show us their self portraits is the best way Jenna and I can love them. Showing up every day even when I don’t feel like it says to them, “you are worthwhile.” And they are.
