Near my home I have a special place where I can be outside and talk with Jesus. Every step on mossy stones and every crunchy leaf reminds me I have a creative God who spent time making me as well as the beautiful forest where I pray. This place has been such a blessing through my World Race journey.
This morning during my talk with Jesus in the woods, I felt God convicting me. Recently, many of my wonderful squad mates have found out that they are already fully funded for the Race. I am beyond excited that these people I love finally have their financial needs met.
However, this morning I was convicted that the joy I have for this news is being turned into lies about my worth on my squad. Thoughts like, “Well, if you were really supposed to be on this route you would be fully funded like your friend” and “God is providing money for the most important people first, and that’s not you” have shifted into my mind without me ever really processing them.
Until this morning.
God doesn’t want me to gives these lies the time of day, which is why He asked me to confront them. When God convicted me of these false beliefs and jealousy, He replaced each lie with His truth. “You would be fully funded if you were supposed to go” is replaced with Deuteronomy 31:7:
“Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land which the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall give it to them as an inheritance. 8“The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
The lie of “God is providing the most important people with their funds” is replaced with Deuteronomy 10:17:
“For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality”
These truths tell me that although some people are fully funded, God is waiting for the best time for that to happen for me too. He’s weaving together a story.
During my final look of the forest this morning, I thought of Matthew 6:26:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
The beautiful trees and fields I saw were all being cared for by the same God that wants to provide for me. He cares for the small things, like the little birds curled into their nests, so He can take care of the big things too, like scary deadlines. There is peace in knowing that my creative God is sowing together everything I need to go on His Race.
