“Jesus, come to me and heal my heart. Come to the shattered places within me. Come for the little girl that was wounded. Come and hold me in your arms, and heal me. Do for me what you promised to do—heal my broken heart and set me free.” -CAPTIVATING
It was the end of month five when someone asked me, “what are you leaving behind in Asia and taking with you to Africa?” Without any thought or hesitation I said, “I am leaving behind “old Becca” and walking into my NEW Becca!” Later, while sitting with the Lord I asked him what that meant exactly and he said, “your identity is still very much rooted in the world. I want you to know who Rebecca truly is.”
After 16 hours of flying and over 25 hours of bus rides we finally arrived to our ministry site in Seronga, Botswana. By far the most beautiful place I have ever seen. While admiring the beauty that surrounded our cabin I couldn’t stop thanking God for choosing such a beautiful place for me to “find” myself. When my time wasnt spent evangelizing in the village or playing with the sweet little children I would be reading the book “Captivating.” A book that I truly believe ALL women would benefit from reading. My best friend Natalie had been encouraging me to read this book for almost a year before I finally did but I definitely believe that I read it at just the right moment..
The Lord used it to cultivate so much healing. I had revelations of wounds I had no idea existed. I forgave people I had no idea I needed to forgive. Sometimes we are clueless to the ugliness that lies so deep within. Clueless as to why there is something hindering our walk with the Lord and our relationships. But when the Lord helps us get to the root of the issue we are able to see why we struggled so much with eating disorders, promiscuity, alcohol and drug addiction, lack of self control, and so many other symptoms of wounds still in need of healing. The Lord is teaching me how to process hurts and spirit breaking words that were spoken to me.”Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” FALSE. Proverbs 18:21 says, “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Things have been spoken to me that have left me hating the way God created me and I am sure that 99% of you who read this have had extremely hurtful words spoken to you as well. Have you allowed Jesus to speak truth into those lies? Are you still believing a lie that someone said to you 5, 10, even 20 years ago?
“Jesus, forgive me for embracing these lies. This is not what you have said of me. You said I am your daughter, your beloved, your cherished one. I renounce the agreements I made with [name the specific messages you’ve been living with. “I’m stupid. I’m ugly.” You know what they are.] I renounce the agreements I’ve been making with these messages all these years. Bring the truth here, oh Spirit of Truth. I reject these lies”. -CAPTIVATING
I refuse to be a woman that walks in pain, hurt, and words from the past but sometimes you have to back in order to go forward. Thats exactly what I did in Botswana. I went back. Jesus erased the lies and called me beautiful. And my Father, well, he said I captivate him. I captivate his heart. Guess what Rebecca means? CAPTIVATING!!!!!!
Ps. The Lord said at the end of Botswana, “Rebecca, you didnt find yourself in Africa.. You found yourself in Christ.”
My identity is in Christ. So is yours <3
