The moment upon arriving to training camp, I had all of these pre-established expectations. I thought this is going to be like youth camp at church. We’re going to have Sunday-school type preaching, sleep in tents, and make s’mores all week. We would stay up late playing card games and having surface-level conversations. I expected it to be very safe and unchallenging.
God blew every expectation of mine out of the water.
Day 1 of training camp God rocked my world (and not exactly in the best way, or so I thought). Our squad Nsquad was the biggest. We had too many people and needed some to swap routes which meant they would join a whole new squad team and go to entirely different countries than planned. They asked for volunteers. Some stepped forward but not enough. They brought over a bowl with all of our names in it and began to draw slips of paper. Mine was the first name called…
I thought, “God, how could you do this? I spent all summer getting to know my squad mates and falling in love with them. I had established community. I had my heart set on going to these specific countries”. “I this… and I that…”
That’s when God began to show me it’s not about me. It’s about Him. I thought I already knew that but I guess not. This isn’t my World Race. It’s HIS.
The first couple of days we really challenging. I had to pack up my stuff and leave my Nsquad family to join the Osquad people. I didn’t know any of them and they had all spent the last 6 months forming community with each other. But let me tell ya, by the end of the week, I had come to love each and every one of them. I’ve connected with them on such a deeper level already then I ever had with my old squad. It’s crazy! It’s like I was holding on so tightly to what God had given me for a season but He was telling me to let it go because He had something greater in store. And that was just day 1 of training camp. Imagine how many expectations He’s going to blow out of the water next year on the Race?!
I take comfort in knowing that He holds me in the palm of his hands no matter the circumstances and have learned to expect the unexpected from the Big Man.
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °
with open hands and an open heart
Say hello to my new Osquad family!
