The time has come…

324 days ago I left
Southern California to embark on a journey that would forever change
who I am. I left the comforts of home, the presence of friends and
family, and all I had with me would have to rest on my back. I look
back now and can’t begin to tell you where time has gone. There were
days, weeks, even months when I never thought it would end, that this
day would never happen.

Yet here I am. Sitting in my hotel room in Hua Hin, Thailand
packing my pack one last time. I’m a master these days at getting my
life to fit into a bag, throw it on my back, and welcome in foreign
passport control. But something is different this time. I’m not
planning what travel clothes I might need, or what toiletries to drop.
I’m not putting my life in my day pack so I don’t have to dig in my big
pack upon arrival for things. Rather my life is thrown together, and in
my lap will sit my Bible, my journal, and many love notes from my new
found family.

It is here. It is surreal and bittersweet. I am more than excited
to see family and close friends, to enjoy mom’s meals and dad’s bed. I
am ready to have kids cuddling and mom begging for stories. But I’m not
sure I am ready to leave this yet. I haven’t been sad about it being
over, I’m not a griever, and honestly, we knew it would end so it’s not
as if it sprung upon us. But I’m sad. This is my life now. This is all
I have known for 324 days, or 46 weeks, or 7,776 hours. How ever you
see it, this is all I’ve seen.

Non-stop community.
Street lined with shoeless children.
Worship under the stars.
Demons cast out.
Baptized in the Jordan River.
Not enough food to satisfy.
Hundreds come to Christ.

I have lived in tents in the midst of monsoon rains, as well as in the
middle of the Serengeti with animals around. I have slept in a bed
alongside my friends the fleas, as well as in a 5 star hotel. I have
eaten rice for days, as well as amazing carrot cake and ice cream. I
have cried and laughed. I have loved and hated. But above it all, I
have lived.

I have heard time and time again, ‘This is a year of missions for a
lifetime of ministry’, and honestly, it couldn’t be more true. This is
a year that has wrecked me for the better. It has jacked me up in ways
I’d never wish on someone, and has been redeemed in ways I never
thought possible.

I am still the same Bambi that left America last summer, but I’m a
better, more Christ-like version. With more love and compassion, more
grace and forgiveness, and above all, a bigger heart than I’d honestly
prefer.

I can’t believe the time is here…..

I’m going home….