Community living has been one of the hardest aspects of the race for me. I’ve lived with roommates for the past few years, so it’s not really the fact of living in the same quarters that gets to me. When you live day in and day out with the same people, they see the dirty laundry of your life… inside and out.
Last month, I wanted run… far away from anything that had to do with interactions with my teammates. Disagreements had come up, and offense creeped in. Going home was NOT an option for me… because I know that God has called me to be with this team, and on the mission field. So I had two choices…
To get through it… OR to grow through it.
Looking back on moments in my life, I could see how if I wasn’t able to run from my problems, I would simply just get through them. No emotions were present; no opinions were given. My presence was the only aspect involved. I believed that I was still being completely obedient to God, but how could I be when I was refusing to take in what He had to teach me?
In Nicaragua, I began to just get through life on the race. I would attend team meetings, but not speak (If you know me, I LOVE to talk). I stopped asking questions, which is also a big part of my character. I was present physically, but not emotionally. I believed that if I just floated on through the rest of the race, I wouldn’t have to talk to any of these people again.
However, I knew this was not how I wanted to deal with my problems. This journey is about identifying things in my life that are not beneficial to my mind, body or soul, ripping them out and replacing them, with the help of God. Another squad mate pointed out to me that I could either continue getting through this, or I could actually grow through this. My teammates have SO much growth to offer me, and I was allowing my own inequities to hinder me from learning. Pride was clouding my vision to what my teammates had for me and not allowing me to see them in the way that God sees them.
Growing through it instead of getting through it…These were the first few steps I took to grow.
- Praying instead only of self-talk
- Giving and expecting nothing in return
- Asking God to open my heart to what He has to show me
- Sharing with others what I was going through to have support and accountability
- Asking God to help me see them how He sees them
- Asking God to help me love them how He loves them
- Praying and then Listening to what He has to say
God has put these amazing people in my life for a reason, even if it is just for a season. They have so much to teach me. Checking out from this growth would keep me from the complete Will of the Lord.
Are there certain situations in your life that you are simply getting by in? I urge you to press into what God has to teach you through this. The fruit you will bear through God’s guidance is far better than what you will receive from just coasting through life.
