One of the biggest things coming off the race is not losing the growth and the connection with God that you have while on the field. It can be easy to get caught up in the business of America and lose focus on what is truly important—seeking the heart of God every day and being Jesus to others.
After about a month of being back in American, I am beginning to feel this. Between looking for a job, trying to get my student loans on track, and just everyday living, it has been easy to slack here and there on my quality time with The Lord, sub-sequentially affecting the love I am able to show to others.
In spending some time and being real with God, he began to show me (again) that it’s not about me.
You see, when we are re-born of the Spirit and make that commitment through the outward sign of baptism, we enter into a covenant relationship with The Lord. We are saying, “I am yours, and you are mine.” Maybe an easier example to understand is that of marriage. Two people come together to outwardly show the world, under God, that they are committed to loving, forgiving, and pursuing each other for life.
I am not married, but I can imagine that you don’t always want to love your spouse. Sometimes you don’t want to love them because they have done something to upset you. Other times it might not even be that you don’t want to love him/her, but you are too caught up with taking the kids to school, making lunches, taking them to soccer practice; or maybe you can’t find the time because work doesn’t end when you get home because you are on-call or have too much paperwork you didn’t finish. Whatever the reason, sometimes we just fail to love.
Just because we don’t feel like loving or forget/are too busy for love, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t love.
God doesn’t choose not to love us, not matter how many times we turn away from Him. God doesn’t forget to love us. He is relentless in His pursuit of our hearts. Now, I know that God is all loving, but I can’t image that it was always “easy” for God to love and pursue and forgive me. How faithful is He?
Sometimes, I need to be reminded that it’s not about me; it’s about God. Even though I probably should, I am not always going to want to get up early to carve out time with Jesus. I am not always going to feel “filled up” or divinely inspired. Just because I don’t feel God, doesn’t mean that I stop pursuing Him. I have made a commitment to pursuing The Lord’s heart, loving Him and serving Him. It is in these times that He is growing me more into His likeness than I can “feel.” He is making me more faithful, more steadfast, and more jealous for Him.
